What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.