How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.