How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.