Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.