What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Which animal can hibernate while standing on its head?
Yoga Bear.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
What does Pooh Bear call his girl friend?
Hunny.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Have you ever had a dream about a bear eating you?
I call them bite-mares.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.