What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
How does a bear get from one place to another?
On a bear-o-plane.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
What kind of car do bears drive?
Fur-aris.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.
How can a bear catch fish without a pole?
They use their bear hands.
What do you call a Mexican bear with a rubber toe?
Robearto.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
What do you get if you cross a grizzly bear and a harp?
A bear-faced lyre.
What do you get if you cross a skunk with a bear?
Winnie the PU!
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What is a polar bear’s favorite food?
Iceberg lettuce and snow peas.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.