What cheese do you use to get a bear out of a tree?
Camembert.
Why did the sloth get fired from his job?
He would only do the bear minimum.
What do you call a bear without any teeth?
A gummy bear.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do you call bears with no ears?
B.
Why didn’t the baby leave his momma?
Because he couldn’t bear it!
What do you call a polar bear in Florida?
A solar bear.
What is a polar bear’s favorite cereal?
Ice Crispies.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why did the two bears break up at the North Pole?
They were polar opposites.
Why didn’t the teddy bear want any dessert?
He was already stuffed.
What do you call a freezing bear?
A brrrrrrr.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
A bear walks into a bear and says, “I’ll have a pint of lager……….. and a packet of crisps.”
The bartender says, “Sure, but what’s with the big pause?”
The bear replies, “I dunno, I was born with them!”
What does pooh eat at parties?
Blue bear-y pie.
What did the bear say when her date showed up too early?
I’ll be out in a minute, I’m bearly dressed.
I’ll think of another pun soon…
Just bear with me.
What do you call a cemetery for bears?
Bearial grounds.
Why don’t bears eat fast food?
Because it’s hard for them to catch.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
How did the grizzly walk in the snow?
Bear footed.
Why is it cheap to feed polar bears?
Because they live on ice only.
How do you stop a bear from charging?
Take away its credit cards.
What is a bear’s favorite drink?
Koka-Koala.
What do you get if you cross a teddy bear with a pig?
A teddy boar.
What do you call a grizzly bear who gets caught in the rain?
A drizzly bear.
How can you tell when a polar bear is moving?
There’s a “fur sale” sign in the yard.
Why didn’t the teddy bear eat his lunch?
Because he was stuffed.
Why do bears have fur coats?
Because they look silly wearing jackets.
What do you call a bear who practices dentistry?
A molar bear.
Where do the teenaged polar bears go to dance?
To the snow-ball.
Did you hear about the guy who got killed by a bear?
It was a grizzly death.
What color socks do bears wear?
They don’t wear socks, they have bear feet.
What do you call two polar bears jerking each other off?
Bipolar.
Why do grizzlies never look sad?
Because whenever there’s a problem, they just grin and bear it.
What do you call a bear with no arms and no legs?
An ambulance. This is no time for jokes.
What do grizzlies use in the shower?
Bear conditioner.
Why did the bear dissolve in water?
It was polar.
How does a bear stop a movie?
They hit the paws button.
Goldilocks was killed last night.
The killers did it with their own bear hands.
What do you call a bear with a bad attitude?
The bearer of bad news.
What would bears be without bees?
Ears.
Why wouldn’t the papa bear use a navigation system in his truck?
Because he never lost his bearings.
What do polar bears have for lunch?
Ice burgers.
Where do polar bears keep their money?
In a snow bank.
Who is a polar bear’s favorite musician?
Seal.
What is a polar bear’s favorite snack?
Brrrrrittos.
If I ever find out the name of the surgeon who messed up my limb transplant, I’ll kill him…
With my bear hands.
How do bears keep their houses cool in summer?
Bear conditioning.
What is a bear’s favorite dessert?
Blue beary pie.