Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
How do you write a book about Bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!