Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Why did the bat break up with her girlfriend?
She thought she was a pain in the neck.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.