What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What is a bat’s favorite dessert?
Pineapple upside-down cake.
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
When does a bat go "mooooo"? When it is learning a new language!
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.