How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
What do you call a bat who gets a charge out of life?
A battery.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!
How do bats spend their time?
Flying and hanging out.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
How can you tell a vampire likes baseball? Every night he turns into a bat.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What fruit do vampire bats like the best?
Neck-tarines.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.