Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call writing a book about breeding bats to pull carriages? A wheely bat idea.
What position did the young vampire bat play on the football team?
Quater-bat.
What problem did the young bat experience?
The hangout.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
Why did the bat walk in her pijamas to take a bath?
Because she did not have a bat robe.
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
Where do bats keep their money? The blood bank!
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
Why did the bat often use mouthwash? She had bat breath.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
Where do bats go to gamble?
Bat-lantic City.
Why did the vampire need mouthwash? Because he had bat breath.
What game do little bats like to play?
Batty fight.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet?
Blood-thirsty hacker.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What did hear about the two bats meeting?
It was love at first bite!
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
Why did the bat look for a job?
She was tired of hanging around.
What did the bat say to the diabetic? Nice knawing you!
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What did the pastry cook say when he was making the cake?
Bat-a-cake. Bat-a-cake.
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.