How do you write a book about bats? With a ghostwriter.
What's a bats favorite desert? I-Scream!
How do bats greet a friend?
With a sound wave.
What do vampire bats call their friends?
Blood brothers.
How fast can a cave become vacant? At the drop of a bat.
What’s a bats favorite desert?
I-Scream!
What did the bat complain about?
Flying with such frequency was exhausting.
What is a good place for bat jokes?
A public bat room.
Why do psychiatrists study bats?
They want to learn about their hang-ups.
How do bats tell their future? They read their horrorscope.
What did the baby mouse do when she saw a bat?
She ran home and told her mother she saw an angel
What is the first thing that bats learn at school? The alphabat.
What bat was called an invader?
Bat-talina.
Did you hear about the two bats meeting? It was love at first bite!
Why did the bat fire a chauffeur?
He drove everyone batty.
What was the most famous bat comedy team?
Ab-bat and Costello.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a woodpecker?
Bat-a-tat.
How do bats line up in school?
In alpha-bat-ical order.
What did the bat say when she was invited to dinner?
No, fangs. I just ate.
What happened when the bat swallowed the alarm-clock?
She turned into a ding-bat.
What game do bats like to play with birds?
Bat-mington.
Who were the original transformers? Vampire bats!
How do bats tell their future?
They read their horrors-cope.
Why don’t bats sleep like the rest of us?
They can't get the hang of it.
What does a vampire bat call a bloodmobile?
Meals on Wheels.
What did the bat do when she did not know the answer in class?
She winged it.
What do you call an bat with a carrot in each ear? Anything you want as he can't hear you!
What do you call a dream when a vampire bat is chasing you?
A bat-mare.
How do you hold a bat?
By the wings.
Which bat can hang the highest and longest?
The acro-bat.
What did the bat say to the friend who itched and squirmined?
Come back when you have washed out the virmin.
Why did the cat want to learn to fly?
She wanted to try bats.
What do you have to know to teach a bat tricks?
More than a bat.
What do you call a bat with ebola? African batman.
Where do bats get their education?
In night schools.
Where do bats keep their money?
The blood bank.
What did the pitcher tell the bat? Batter-up.
What did the grape say when the bat squished on it? Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
What do bats say to those they dislike? Good riddance to bat rubbish!
What holiday do bats love best?
St. Bat-rich’s Day.
What do you get when you cross a bat with a doorbell?
A ding-bat.
Where do bats like to relax?
In the bat-tub.
What do you call vampires bats that cheer at football games?
Bat-on-twirlers.
What happened when a bat misbehaved in night school?
She got suspended.
What do you get if you cross a bat with a ball?
A home run.
What happened if vampires came to a big dance?
A bat ball.
What praise did a bat’s friend deserve? A bat on the back.
Why shouldn’t you drive with a vampire?
He will drive you batty.
What's more amazing than a talking bat? A spelling bee!