Ever wonder how gorillas can be so strong when they eat mostly a plant based diet?
Cuz they don't monkey around when it comes to strength training!
What did the baby chicken say when he saw his mother sitting on an orange?
Dad, look what marma-laid!
How is cat food sold? Usually, purr can!
Deja moo:
That feeling you've heard this bull before.
What do you get if you cross a squirrel with a kangaroo?
An animal that keeps its nuts in its pockets.
What do you get if you cross a worm and a young goat? A dirty kid.
What does a chocolate crow say? “Cacao!”
What do you call an ant who can see into the future?
Clairvoy-ant.
What do deer doctors specialise in? Hart surgery!
Why was the scarecrow upset with the worm?
It was going ear to ear in the corn field!
I used to own a raven. It could speak English, but the only word it could speak was "car".
The crow decided to dress up as Corvid-19 virus for the Halloween costume party.
How does a 20-something pig hit on someone?
They invite them over to Netflix and swill.
What do you call a bat with the flu?
An airborne disease.
What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ? Tyrannosaurus tex!
What's the difference between a sniper with Parkinson's Disease and a constipated owl?
One can shoot but can't hit...
Why don't crabs give to charity?
Because they're shellfish.
I hate worms and snakes because they have no feet.
You might say that I am lacktoes intolerant.
What is it called when a dinosaur hits a homerun?
A Dino-Score.
Did you hear about the generous and kind deer? She had a hart of gold!
Where is a frog's favorite place to eat?
At IHOP.
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
What do you get if you cross a whale with an elephant?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.
What Christmas carol do they sing in the desert? O' Camel ye faithful.
In order to get an accurate count of the herd, the farmer uses a cow-culator.
How do llamas say “Merry Christmas” in Spanish?
Fleece Navidad.
What kind of hair style does a bee get?
A buzz cut
Where do penguins go to the movies?
At the dive-in!
What’s a shark favorite substance?
Reefer.
What do you call a bunny who was raised in a hotel? An inn-grown hare.
Q. Why doesn't a big gorilla have to flush the toilet?
A. He scares the sh*t out of it!
Why do penguins carry fish in their beaks?
Because they don’t have any pockets!
I know this bird who was excluded from his flock for being too big
He was ostrich-sized.
Someone told me that it takes 5 sheep to make a sweater.
I didn't know they could knit!
What do snakes do after they have a fight?
Hiss and make up.
What did the carrot say to the rabbit? Do you want to grab a bite?
What made the dinosaur's car stop ? A flat Tire-annosaurus!
A female sheep and a couple of aggressive birds are sitting on the veranda. What language do they speak?
Porchewegeese.
Why did God create Yogi bear?
Because on his first try he made a Boo-Boo.
Why do bears have sticky fur?
Because they use honey combs.
Why was the skeleton afraid of the dog?
Because dogs love bones.
Where do fish save their money?
In the river bank.
Did you know alligators can grow up to 18 feet?
But most of them only have four!
What goes dot, dot, dash, squeak?
Mouse code!
What do you get if you cross a tiger with a mammoth’s tusk?
A sabre-toothed tiger.
My dog has expensive taste in shoes.
So I got her some Jimmy Chews.
What do you call Spider-Man at his full potential
Petest Parkest.
Why don’t crabs donate to charity?
Because they’re shellfish
When you cross a camel with a cow, you will end up with a lumpy milkshake.
All the turtles wore turtle necks to the party.