Q. Whay aren't gorillas afraid of zombies?
A. Because the ape-ocalypse doesn't frighten them.
What kind of shark is always gambling?
A card shark.
What do you call a gorilla with no arms?
An ape-utee
Flamingos can be a bit of a daring bunch. In fact, they always fly by the seat of their pants.
Why did the bald man paint rabbits on his head? Because from a distance they looked like hares!
Did you know you can fit 30 bananas in a kangaroo’s pouch?
Also, I’m not allowed at the zoo anymore.
What is a dog’s favorite type of homework?
A lab report.
A famous turtle is called a shell-ebrity.
What do you call a fly with no Wings?
A walk.
Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle? Yes he's a rabid fan.
What do you call a poor ant?
A peas-ant.
I had a flamingo come to stay with me when he had a cold. We nicknamed him phlegmingo.
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
How did the penguin pass his driving test?
He winged it.
Crows organized a cawnfrences, to discuss the upcoming project.
Where do apes like to cook their sausages?
On the gorilla.
What is a naughty beavers' favorite type of wood ever? Knotty pine.
A mosquito was trying to land on my arm.
I shook it and said:
"Not on my watch."
How do you catch a rich squirrel?
Climb a tree and act like a cashew.
What kind of car does Yogi bear drive?
A Furrari.
What do frogs drink?
Croak-a-cola.
What is a cat’s favorite class at school? Hiss-tory!
My pet crocodile needs help
Can I give him gatorade or does it only work for alligators?
Why did the horse climb Everest?
She liked mount-ains.
Why was the horse such a good dancer?
It perfected its halturn.
Why did the otter cross the road? To prove to the possum that it could be done!
The manager for that dairy farm was referred to as the cow-ordinator.
Q. Which Greek eggplant dish do deer really eat up?
A. Moose-aka.
Can one tropical bird change a lightbulb?
No, but toucan.
How does an otter get into an honest business? Usually through the skylight.
What do crows read? Cawmics.
What’s in the middle of a jellyfish?
A jelly button.
What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on.
Q. How do you describe a stinking filthy buck?
A. Deer-ty.
When alligators need energy, they just slug down some gator-ade.
Which flower is known as the most ferocious flower? A tiger lily.
What is the opposite of a flamingo? The answer is, a flaminstop.
Why did the guy kill the fly?
It was bugging him.
What do you get when you cross a bat with the internet? blood-thirsty hacker baby
What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied.
I tried to keep a koala in my house, but the smell was just unBEARable.
What do you call it when a giraffe swallows a toy jet?
A plane in the neck.
What do deer always use to clean their homes?
Comet!
Why did the dog go to university? To get a pe-digree.
Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat? Because they don't know how to cook.
Why was the horse a great editor?
She was very thorough bred.
Who granted the fish’s wish?
The fairy cod mother!
What do you say to an overbearing pig? Stop porcine the issue.
What kind of books do owls read?
Hoo-dunnits.
Why do turtles never forget?
Because they have turtle recall.