What will you get if you cross an ice bear and a running tiger? Frostbite.
The reason you will see all the cows lie down when it starts to rain is because they want to keep each
udder dry.
What do you call a turtle who takes up photography?
A snapping turtle.
Which side of a penguin has the most feathers?
The outside.
Did you hear about the pig that ran the Post Office?
He was the first Porkmaster General.
I went into a pet shop and said: "I would like a pet parrot for my daughter."
Confused, the owner replied: "Sorry, we don't do swaps."
What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole.
What do you call an alligator who is holding a compass?
A navigator.
How do penguins drink?
Out of beak-ers!
What do you get when you cross a tiger and a snowman? Frost-bite!
What did Cinderella Dolphin lose?
Her glass flipper!
Why wouldn’t anyone play with the little longhorn?
He was too much of a bully.
Any time I wear a t shirt with a picture of a crocodile on it, I feel a little sick.
I think I might be Lacoste intolerant.
What is a bear’s favorite soda?
Coca Koala.
What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on? Anything you want. He can't hear you.
In order to be efficient, I named my parrots Roger, Gene, and Mick.
Two Byrds, one Stone.
What do the squirrels do when they are bored ?
watch NutFlix
Walking through the farm and a group of pigs jumped out of a tree at me. It was a hambush.
What do we learn from cows, buffaloes and elephants?
It’s impossible to reduce weight by eating green grass and salads and walking.
What type of dog doesn’t bark?
A hush puppy.
Why are giraffes so slow to apologize?
Because it takes them a long time to swallow their pride.
Why did the bank have the squirrel arrested?
He was foraging checks.
What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo? Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex
What do you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A snake in the brass.
Why do beavers make the best neighbors?
Because they mind their own dam business.
Whats in a camels favorite cup of tea?
Camelmile
Why did the farmer put his cow on the scales?
He wanted to see how much the milky weighed.
Why do bees stay in the hive during the winter?
Swarm.
What do you call an elephant with rotors?
A Nellie-copter.
Why did the giraffe graduate early?
He was head and shoulders above the rest of the class.
How do you keep a goat from charging?
You take his credit card away!
What do you call a fish with two knees? A two-knee-fish!
What do dog scientists to with their bones?
They barium.
Just had Lobster Bisque for the first time!
It was souper good!
What do dogs and Santa have in common?
They are both seen Dachshund through the snow.
What sound do 8 sheep make?
Octo-bah.
Why could not the young vampire bat play baseball?
He was a bat boy.
Where are sharks from?
Finland!
What kind of dog loves bubble baths?
A shampoodle.
When a lion takes a lioness from another lion, he kills and eats any cubs she has. You'd think he'd be ashamed of himself.
But apparently he just swallows his pride.
I had a tattoo of a Scorpion on my back last night and to tell the truth...
It stings like hell.
What happened to the Easter bunny at school? He was eggspelled.
What do cows do when they’re introduced?
They give each other a milk shake.
What do penguins drink during the summer?
Iced tea.
Flight allows flamingos to stay safe from predators. This is natural selection in action, and explains why flaminstays are extinct.
How do you tell the difference between a rabbit and a gorilla?
A rabbit looks nothing like a gorilla
What do you call the worlds tallest mosquito?
Himalarya.
Why don’t dolphins have hair?
They have whale pattern baldness.
What is a dog’s favorite coordinates?
K9.
Where do beavers sleep? They sleep on a river bed.