Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed? Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!
I threw water on a flamingo the other day
Now it's just an O.
What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
She lays hand gren-eggs.
What did the llama say to the grass?
“Nice gnawing you!”
What do you call a funny parrot spoof
A parody
What do teenage deer do at slumber parties?
Truth or deer.
Why didn’t the horse tell her friend she was a thief?
She didn’t want to saddle her with that information.
What Kind of Books do Rabbits Read? Ones with Hoppy Endings.
Flaked tuna is a great product for both campers, and dolphins
It's truly useful for all in tents, and porpoises.
Why did the dog cross the road twice?
He was trying to fetch a boomerang
Whichever gator stole all the food, we'll catch the crook-a-dile.
How many rabbits does it take to change a light bulb? Only one if it hops right to it.
What do get if you cross a duck and Santa?
A Christmas Quacker.
What’s it called when a bunch of pigs compete in athletic games?
The Olympigs
Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
To the shell-block.
Why are mice afraid of the water?
Because of catfish.
What did the deer say to his funny friend? You’re deer-larious!
A gorilla starts off his day by going to his car
When he gets to his car, he notices hes missing something. He walks back in his house, and asks his wife "Have you seen monkeys?"
What's the opposite of a positive crocodile?
A negator
What’s a horse’s favorite country singer?
Colt-on Underwood.
Why Was The Teacher Annoyed With The Duck?
Because he wouldn't quit quackin' jokes!
If flamingos can’t fly, how on earth do they get about? They use flamingo karts, of course.
What family does Maiasaur belong to? I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!
What does the mummy parrot say to her baby? Beak-areful!
What did the reindeer dad tell his son?
Deer to be different!
How did the rabbit become a wrestling champion? It had a lot of hare pins!
What kind of sharks make good carpenters?
Hammerheads.
How do you know you have a tape worm?
It’s comming out of your belly!
What do you do when your dog chews a dictionary?
Take the words out of his mouth.
How do you get down off a horse?
You don’t, you get down off a duck.
What do you get when you cross a Dinosaur and TNT? Dino-mite.
What's a frog's favorite candy?
Lollihops.
What did the beaver say to the river? Meet me around the bend.
What is a snake’s favorite dance?
The Mamba.
What kind of fish do you catch with Gummy Worms?
Swedish Fish.
Which murderer kills at the bottom of the ocean?
Jack the Kipper.
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect.
Why was the penguin a good race car driver?
He always started in pole position.
Q. What does the alpha gorilla call his first wife?
A. His prime mate.
How do you spot a deer behind you? With hind-sight!
Psychologist: What brings you here today?
Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat….. Nuts.
What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts.
Did You Hear About The Duck With A Drug Problem?
He was a quackhead.
How can you tell the difference between an English and French crow?
"PourCUAWWW! PourCUAWWW!"
What does a panda use to cook his pancakes?
A pan duhhhh!
What is a cat’s favorite magazine? Good Mousekeeping.
What’s an orca’s favorite TV show?
Whale Of Fortune.
Did you hear about the piglets who wanted to do something special for Mother’s Day?
They threw a sowprize party.
Why are some fish at the bottom of the ocean?
Because they dropped out of the school.
Why do cows think cooks are mean?
They whip cream.