What did the sink say to the water faucet?
You’re a real drip.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
Why are oceans so meticulous?
They like to be pacific.
What do you call dangerous amounts of precipitation?
A rain of terror.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What did one body of water say to the other?
"Do you sea what I sea?"
What is another king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Reign!
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a water hose?
Hare spray.
Did you ever hear the joke about the three holes in the ground?
Well, well, well.
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
My wife first agreed to a date after I gave her a bottle of tonic water.
I Schwepped her off her feet.
What did the egg say to the boiling water?
I might have some trouble getting hard, I just got laid this morning!
Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
Did you hear about the scientist who was lab partners with a pot of boiling water?
He had a very esteemed colleague.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
Where do meteorologists like to drink after work?
The closest ISOBAR.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
If Smart water were actually smart…
Then why did it get bottled?
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
Why do poets always write about the sea?
They just can’t fathom her depths.
What can you do if you are the ocean?
Watever you want.
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
What is the king’s favorite type of precipitation?
Hail, of course!
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
What do you call a wet teddy bear?
A drizzly bear.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
A parishioner at my church broke into the holy water tank and splashed some on his infant daughter, saying, "your are hereby baptized!"
That's just not rite.
When you mix a salt and water, you get a solution. When you mix a salt and battery, you get arrested.
RIP to Boiled Water.
You will be sorely mist.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
It's really easy to learn white water kayaking
You just go with the flow.
What is the ocean’s favorite lullaby?
Roe, Roe, Roe Your Boat.
HIJKLMNO is the formula for water
H to O.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
What's a flowing water with living organisms called?
A livestream.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
H20 is water, but what is H204?
It’s for swimming and drinking, of course.
Looking out at the water, a father explains why the ice breaks up in the spring.
The changing sea son.
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.