What is a 2000 pound skeleton called
A skeleTon.
Where do skeletons go hang out at night?
Anywhere, as long as it's a hip joint.
What do you say when you go to a dinner with a bunch of osteopathologists?
Bone appetit!
"Dying to have fun."
Why did the skeleton cross the road?
To get to the body shop.
"Some people have no guts."
"Bugs and hisses."
Why are skeletons so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin.
What does a skeleton play in a band?
A Trom-Bone.
I need to stop being such a numbskull.
Why can’t a legless skeleton win an argument?
They don’t have a leg to stand on.
Why did the skeleton start a fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
Because he didn't have the guts.
What do you call a skeleton who lies?
A phoney-ba-boney.
What did one skeleton wrestler say to the other?
You better watch out for my special move. It will verta-break your back!
Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed?
He was bone tired.
My cranium is empty. I'm running bone-dry here.
Why do skeletons get sick on windy days?
It goes right through them.
Where do you imprison a naughty skeleton?
A rib cage.
How do two skeletons have se*?
They bone each other.
What do you call it when a skeleton is having a great time?
An osteoblast.
What did the osteopathic medicine doctor bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.
How do you greet a skeleton in france?
"Bonejour."
Why was the skeleton so lonely?
He had no body.
"Lazy bones."
Why did the skeleton go to the daycare?
To get his Kidneys.
My favourite jokes are skeleton puns
Why? I find them humorous.
What is a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai tree.
"You can't skele-run from my skele-puns."
No body has ever won a skeleton race.
What’s a skeletons favorite wrestling event?
A rib cage match.
Why can’t a group of skeletons ever get anything done?
It’s a skeleton crew.
What do you call a skeleton's favorite singer?
Pelvis Presley.
What's a skeletons favorite activity?
Boning.
Near the town of Hannah Montana people found a dinosaur skeleton.
Scientists identified it as a Mileysaurus.
Why does the skeleton wear skinny jeans?
Because it’s got a marrow waistline.
"Do you play the trom-bone?"
Why does a skeleton always tell the truth?
He wants tibia honest.
What did the doctor tell the skeleton who wanted to donate his body to science?
Spine on the dotted line.
What’s the coolest part of a skeleton?
The hip.
Why couldn't the skeleton get a date to the dance?
He doesn't have the heart to ask anyone out.
How do you know if a spine finds you funny?
It starts cracking up.
"Laughing 'til I'm coffin."
Where do you learn about bones?
Osteoclasst.
Did you hear about the skeleton that was almost picked apart by a group of wild dogs?
He marrowly escaped.
"Bone to be wild."
What is a skeletons favorite meal?
Anything with Ribs.
What is a skeleton's favorite musical instrument?
The xylobone.
"I would make a skeleton joke, but you wouldn't find it very
humerus."
What did the skeleton bring to the potluck?
Spare ribs.