What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Did the Vikings believe in reincarnation?
That's a re-Thorical question.
What kind of fire moistens?
A humidifier.
What can you find in both medieval English castles and American art museums?
Norman Rock Wells.
An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
What do you call a knight who wants to overthrow the King?
Sir Plant.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
Which was the largest Gladiator of them all?
Gluteus Maximus
There's this video game about an FBI psychologist hunting a Viking Angel of Death....
I believe it's named Valkyrie's Profile.
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium?
He just couldn’t put it down.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
The sweetest and fruitiest historical wonder of the world is the Grape Wall of China.
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
What's the difference between a Viking and that one Bond movie where he's in space?
One's *Moonraker*, the other's a rune maker.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
What is the study of real estate? Homology
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
How do geologists like to relax? In rocking chairs, of course!
What do you call a medieval horse in the army
A knight-mare
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
Did you hear about the Viking who was reincarnated?
He was Bjorn again.
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
Geology rocks but Geography is where it's at.
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations.
(Looking at you Newton).
I think if Rome hadn't been built on a hill...
..it wouldn't have had such a fast decline.
What TV show did the astronaut appear in?
Dancing with the stars.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
What do you name a knight who has been able to persevere through all the barriers in his way? A Sir Vivor!
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
Why didn't the Romans have algebra?
Because X always equaled 10!
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Why do Egyptians shave their heads?
To make them more pharaoh-dynamic
Every time I hang out my laundry, I can't resist singing "Nine to Five" ...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
The comedian said a joke from the 17th century, the crowd went historical.
What did the mummy order to eat when he went to a restaurant? A wrap.
I saw the Liberty Bell.
It's not all it's cracked up to be.
My nerdy friend just got a PhD on the history of palindromes.
We now call him Dr. Awkward.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
I had a friend who got a Ph.D. in the history of Palindromes. He is now called Dr. Awkward.
A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
It replied, “No, thanks, I am traveling light.”
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
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