Why did the engineering students leave class early? They were getting a little ANSI.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
When Napoleon is indecisive, he is torn-apart-e.
What did the gangster say to Julius Cesar?
When the student had asked the History teacher what questions will be there for the History exam, she answered, "The Past."
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
What did the Egyptian boy say to the Egyptian girl?
Come behind the pyramid, I'll make you a mummy
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
What do you call a knight that jousts all the time
Sir Lance-alot
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
When the heat turns down, we thieves gather in our secret hideout for a meeting.
We call it our Con Den session.
How did one become a medieval executioner?
You had to axe nicely.
Biology - It grows on you.
What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark? Floodlights.
Did you hear about the zygote that joined the army?
I heard he was diploid.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
You do not want to know the history behind the railroad because it is so underground.
Archeologists discovered an ancient Egyptian tomb that was dedicated solely to women.
At least that's what they concluded as it was full of Mummys.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
The Vikings had an initiative tradition where a child had to participate in a raid to become a full man
... as they say, it takes a pillage to raise a child.
What did one pyramid say to the other? Hey! Where's your mummy?
Why was the medieval architect always going to the beaches? So that he could build the perfect sandcastle!
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
The loveliest subject in schools History because it has so many dates.
What do you call a Korean knight who is looking for his lost belongings? He goes by the name Sir Ching!
What Did The Gladiator Do With The Glory-Hole?
He put his spear in it.
Vikings joke
Why do West Virginia residences love the Vikings?
They catch theilens from their cousins.
I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
What did they call mummy makers in ancient Egypt? Sarcophaguy.
Why do mummies never go on vacations? Because they're afraid to unwind.
What's black, white, purple, yellow and blue? Sugilite, opal, and sardonyx fighting over a gumball.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
Watson: Holmes, What kind of rock is this?
Holmes: Sedimentary, my dear Watson.
If you plant a light bulb in your garden, does it grow into a power plant?
My physics professor told me I had potential
Then he pushed me off the roof.
What did Darth Vader tell the geologist?
May the quartz be with you!
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
History teachers are the worst gifters
They always think about the past, not the present.
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