What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
A physics student ask his teacher: "Can you point me to someone who can teach me a way in which quantum mechanics can be united with general relativity?"
The teacher answers: "Let me see if I can pull some strings for you."
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
I keep asking my physics teacher "what is the unit for power?"
But he just saying "Yes."
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
Where would you find Hadrian's Wall?
At the bottom of his garden!
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
Vikings weren't exactly the best at drinking contests.
They were quite MEADiocre.
Q: Why was the Pharaoh wet?
A: He was the reigning ruler.
The photographer mummy was done with his shoot. So he told his crew to wrap it up.
Me: Can I get XL shirts here?
Ancient Rome Shopkeeper: Are you sure you want that many shirts?
Vegetarians in the sixth century were called peasants.
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I'm pretty sure all history teachers are necromancers
They only care about the dead.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
My wife and I had a huge argument as to whose turn it was to do laundry.
Eventually, I folded.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Catherine and Peter performed great in 'Dancing with the Tsar'last night. But Ivan was terrible.
What did the electrical engineer say when he got shocked? That hertz.
In Ancient Rome, there were 4 types of poison. Poisons I, II, and III would all kill you with varying degrees of pain.
However, Poison IV would just make you really itchy.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
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