I just saw my wife trip and fall, while carrying a laundry basket full of ironed clothes.
I watched it all unfold.
My buddy asked me "if you could kill anyone in history, who would it be?"
I said I probably wouldn't kill anyone in history, but Pete in math is bloody annoying sometimes.
Why are geologists never hungry?
They lost their apatite.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Why are refrigerator shelves hipsters?
They were there before it was cool.
She wanted a microwave for her birthday...
So I pointed and fired my shrink ray at her hand.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
My wife said she'll leave me if I don't stop the laundry punsץ
So from today I'm detergent to be better.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
I hear there's a new COVID-19 vaccine delivered via an audio interface as music.
It is hoped that this will lead to heard immunity.
Why was the knight fighting the tournament with a sword made from cheddar cheese? Because the cheese was extra sharp!
In the medieval ages, chess was a very popular game among Kings and Queens. This was because they had castles in it!
Did you hear about the constipated engineer? He worked it out with a pencil. It was a natural log.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
Why are geologists no fun at parties?
They like to be stone-cold sober.
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
It was quite dangerous for messengers back in the medieval era.
They often had to wear mail armor.
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
Q: Why was the Pharaoh boastful?
A: Because he Sphinx he's the best.
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
The superconductor left without resistance.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
The medieval queen was unhappy when she saw that it was pouring outside. She sighed to herself, "This could be another reigny day."
What would a barefoot man get if he stepped on an electric fence? A pair of shocks.”
Go to BabaMail
