What's a mummy's favorite song?
Walk Like An Egyptian.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Hey, have you heard about....
A gladiator whose arms and legs been cut off in a fight? Well, I heard that he's been disarmed and defeated.
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
Why didn't the mummy have any friends? Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
Did you see that their is a Medieval play about menstruation?
It's a period piece
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
What is a vector’s favorite band? One Direction!
My friend keeps the toaster on the lowest setting
I suspect he's got black toast intolerance
Engineers like to Solve Problems but...
If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own.
Mountains aren't funny....? They're hilarious.
How did knights in the middle-ages get across a moat?
Moataboat
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Julius Caesar
But Julius is too shy to talk to her
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
If Roman Emperor Nero was born in Egypt..
He might have been a Far-o.
How was the Roman Empire cut in half?
With a pair of Caesars.
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
Did you hear about the geologist who was reading a book about Helium? He just couldn't put it down.
When the proposal of building a parking lot was given to Richard III, he told said, "Over my dead body."
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