How does Juliet maintain a constant body temperature? Romeostasis.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
What does a gladiator say when leaving after an intimate embrace with a woman?
Gladiator out
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
Okay, so, I *had* an offensive joke I wanted to tell about Ancient Rome
But I don't have the Gaul anymore...
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
I put some big, giant, large, massive, enormous, huge bread in the toaster.
I was making synonym toast.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
When you offered me love, I lepton it!
What do Alfred the Great and Ivan the Terrible have in common?
Their middle name.
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Once, a wizard had cursed a knight and turned him into a bird. To express his sorrow, he sang throughout the entire day because he had become a knightingle.
If your girlfriend/wife ever gets you a gladiator uniform, it's a pretty good sign.
She wants you to be more Roman-tic.
What's a Vikings favourite dance?
The Loki cokey.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
What does it take to be good at making Greek pottery?
You have to urn it.
When I asked my Teacher in History class if she could tell us more about Napoleon's origin, she replied,"'Course I can!"
Why does a mummy enjoy celebrating Christmas? As it involves a lot of gifts and wrappings.
I got arrested at work today for moving my desk away from the air conditoner vent.
I was charged with draft-dodging!
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
Did you hear about the new Netflix series? The one about a couple of poor female artists living in 1600s Rome?
I think it's called Two Baroque Girls
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
I can't touch my aunt or I will explode.
She's made of auntie matter.
Who was the knight that was very secretive?
Sir Reptitious
More places are charging fees to iron my clothes after they launder them...
I guess the free press is under siege!
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
How do you tell the difference between boys and girls?
Take their genes down.
Q: What did the Pharaoh do when he needed help moving his gold?
A: He hired-a-glyphics.
How did Vikings send secret messages?
Norse code
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
What did the femur say to the patella? I kneed you.
There's now a vaccine to make you better at geometry.
It's called Pythagorean Serum.
Two sodium atoms are walking down the street. Suddenly one says “Oh, my God, I’ve lost an electron!” The other says “Lost an electron! Are you sure?” and the first replies “Yes, I’m positive!”
What do you yell at two mummies making out in public?
Get a tomb!
What does DNA stand for? National Dyslexics Association.
I heard the government is going to put chips inside people with Covid vaccines...
I hope I get Doritos.
Why didn't the peasants attend the Egyptian king's open palace party?
The address was "2, Pharaoh Way"
The castle and court of Camelot were famous for their knight-life.
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Nobody knows about Napoleon's brother because they were born-apart-e.
Got into my car and realized my wife had shut off all the A/C vents.
Definitely not cool.
A new men's cologne is in development which smells of electric eels shocking a Silicon Valley giant.
Its called Eel-on Musk.
Why did Karl Marx dislike Earl Grey tea? Because all proper tea is theft.
We had a lively debate in physics.
It was a conversation of energy.
TV repair during lockdown has been pretty easy.
It’s mostly remote work.
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