I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
There was this knight who would be always roasting whatever he would catch for food. Guess this is why he was known as the Bonfire Knight.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
Have you ever been to a marketplace in Egypt?
It's quite bazaar
Did you hear about the scary couple in prom this year? It was a mummy and his ghoul-friend.
Old Norse cuisine is simply not to my Viking.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
What do you tell the nobles of Scandinavia whenever you're leaving their house?
Viking.
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
What happens if you put an iPhone in a blender?
You get apple juice.
What did the teacher do with her student's report on the history of cheese?
She grated it.
What should be the name of the knight who the King has appointed to carry a census of the land? He goes by the name Sir Vey.
I just finished my masters in engineering with a concentration in adhesives...
Within the next year I want to publish my first book on tape.
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
How do you communicate with the spirit of a Viking warrior?
With a Nor-Ouija board.
How does Moses make coffee?
Hebrews it.
Got my new blender yesterday but I can't tell if I like or not though...
It keeps giving me mixed results.
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
What was the biologist wearing on his first date with a hot chick? Designer jeans.
Working on lab science animals is a real rat race.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
A knight bursts into a blacksmith and yells "You smelt my armor!"
The blacksmith was calm and collected and replied: "Yes, and what a lovely scent it had."
Q: What was Cleopatra's favorite type of flower?
A: Chrysantha-mummies.
What is a knight who has traveled all across the earth with a ship known as? He is known as Sir Cumnavigator.
A knight asks a squire for the time
The squire says: it seems to be 3 pm
The knights shuts his visor and says: no, its knight time
The recipe said, “set the oven to 180 degrees”...
Now I can’t open the door because it faces the wall.
Why were Native Americans in America first?
They had reservations.
What did Sparticus do to the cannibal who ate his nagging wife?
Nothing, he's gladiator.
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What's the Difference Between Mechanical & Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons, civil engineers build targets.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, you make the vacuum cleaner.
Q: Why couldn't the Pharaoh sing?
A: He hurt his larSphinx
After Jesus's trial was complete, he asked the Roman soldier closest to him what was going to happen next.
"I don't know. I'll keep you posted."
A biologist, a chemist and a statistician are out hunting.
The biologist shoots at a deer and misses 5th to the left.
The chemist takes a shot and misses 5th to the right.
The statistician yells "We got 'em!"
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why was the medieval knight polishing his dress before going for the Queens's dinner party? Because he wanted to have a night in shining armor!
When Napoleon died in the explosion, he was blown-apart-e.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
My history teacher was talking about mythical medieval creatures
Personally, I think the lecture was starting to drag on
Where did the Romans go to rent their vehicles?
Herculease.
What is the favourite food of the Egyptian god? It is the Ramen.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
When a ship or Vikings suddenly vanishes
There's a disturbance in the Norse
I accidentally sat on a medieval stained glass window at the antique store...
That was a royal pane in the ass.
Why was the Geologist expelled from Reform School? He was a dirty layer!
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