How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
Physics puns are no joke. It’s a relatively dark matter.
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why are Scandinavian women so hot?
The Vikings didn't bring back the ugly ones.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time?
You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
My girlfriend said if I don't stop my obsession with Viking culture she'll fight me to the death.
"Jokes on you," I said. "If I die in battle, I'll go straight to Valhalla."
Why did the Viking buy an old boat?
He couldn't a fjord a new one.
My dad used to crack jokes standing above our fireplace.
Now he's passed the mantle on to me.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
What did the borg say to the medieval peasant?
Resistance if feudal
Who was the biggest prankster in George Washington's army?
Laugh-ayette!
How did they name those guys who wore shiny armor in medieval times?
They couldn't think of a name, so they decided to call it a knight.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
Q: How did the Pharaoh get to school?
A: In Anubis.
A teacher asks one of their pupils, "Can you describe Napoleon"s origin?"
The pupil replies, "Course I can." (Corsican)
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
What did the Medieval Gynecologist say to his patients?
At your cervix, m'lady
I think my heater is sick.
It's hot.
Q: What was the pharaoh's favorite football team?
A: The Mummy Dolphins
Did you know they didn't have smart phones in ancient Rome?
They had tablets.
I'm reading a book about metal fasteners.
Riveting stuff.
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
How long do you microwave fish?
Tuna half minutes!
You should check out that Egyptian antiquities store.
They have a mummy-back guarantee!
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
As a refrigerator technician, after a hard day on the job, I like to relax...
And chill out.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
Where does King Arthur throw his stupid knights?
In the Dumbgeon.
At the end of the physics lecture, I asked my professor, “What happened before The Big Bang?”
He said, “Sorry. There is no time.”
Did you hear about the medieval siege where the attackers ran out of ammunition? So, they loaded a severed peasant's head onto a trebuchet and fired it. By sheer luck, it hit the Duke's son and knocked him off the battlefield.
Yeah, apparently it was the first-ever serf face to heir missile.
"Is your dishwasher running?"
"Seeing as it doesn't have feet, it does not"
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
My vaccine dad joke failed.
But it was worth a shot.
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
What did the Endoplasmic Reticulum say to the Golgi. I like your body, and the Golgi said it's complex.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why was Pavlov's hair so soft?
Classical conditioning.
Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
Have you heard about the roman numeral hospital?
All they have is IVs!
What did the gladiator say when he was surrounded by nearly 100 men?
IC
I asked a train engineer how many times his train had derailed. He said, “I’m not sure, it’s hard to keep track.”
Go to BabaMail
