What was the Romans' greatest achievement?
Learning to speak Latin!
Dwayne Johnson is studying his family history
Is that Genealogy or Geology?
What does a Muslim Viking say at the movie theater?
Valhalla Snackbar!
The Second World War was very slow because they were Stalin.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
How did explorers hide their treasures in the medieval ages? By dragon them to a safe location.
What do you call a mummy covered in chocolate and nuts? A Pharaoh Roche.
I saw this new movie about a mummy's new bandages. It was called The Emperor's New Cloths.
Where do southern Viking descendants go after death?
Y'allhalla.
What do you call a can of pop found in a conglomerate?
Coca-Cola Clastic
Why does a microwave hum?
Because it doesn't know the words
If Russia wants to be the first country to produce a vaccine ...
... Then Soviet.
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What do you call a worm that chews up power cords? An electro-maggot.”
How do you identify a bald eagle? All his feathers are combed over to one side.
What did Medieval postmen wear?
Chain mail.
Archeologists say that mummies are very hard to find. Because they're all kept under wraps.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
If Hamlet was alive now, he would have only worn t-shirts saying 2B or not 2B!
Most of the knights of the round table of King Arthur were in their middle ages.
Don’t expect to hear yourself urinate after taking the Pfizer vaccine.
I had a doctor tell me the P was silent.
How do you know the moon is going broke?
It's down to its last quarter.
Did you hear about the famous microbiologist who traveled in thirty different countries and learned to speak six languages? He was a man of many cultures.
If you’re doing dangerous work on a platform that’s held together by screwed in bolts, then your life is hanging by a thread.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
I wouldn't trust medieval executioners in today's world.
They are prepared to kill people, simply to get a head.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
What did the nuclear physicist have for lunch?
Fission Chips.
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Biology - It grows on you.
Q: What do you call a mummy who wins the lottery?
A: A lucky stiff
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
The interesting the about engineering Toilet Paper.
It's an a-ply-ed science.
What do you call a catholic toaster strudel?
A pope tart.
Air resistance is a real drag.
Medieval Kings and Queens were carried by their soldiers and servants. I am not lying, they litter-ally carried that way!
I caught my friend harassing some electricity. I told him it was an abuse of power.”
What do the early European settlers in America have in common with ants?
They both lived in colonies!
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
What is the name of that knight who is very fond of the sea and spends most of his time at sea beaches? We call him Sir Fer.
Why can't Vikings fans eat cereal? Because they choke before they ever reach the bowl.
What do you call Sir Lancelot when he is dancing and singing to his heart's content at a party? We call him Sir Dancelot.
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