We were debating about Charles Darwin in class when the teacher warned us, "Don't let this evolve into an argument."
After the Palace of Versailles was completed, Louis XIV felt Baroque and roll.
Always knock on the fridge before opening.
Just in case there is a salad dressing
Did you hear about the urologist who became an aerospace engineer?
He developed an incontinental ballistic missile.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz?
He wasn’t too bright.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What is a Jedi electrician’s favorite tool? His lightsaber”
Why did the medieval Indian go to the doctor?
He was feeling a bit Sikh
King Arthur's Round Table was built by Sir Cumference.
What happens when you look up geology jokes? You know you've hit rock bottom!
My poor knowledge of Greek mythology has always been my Achilles elbow.
What is the difference between a geologist and a chemist? A chemist will drink anything that is distilled. A geologist will drink anything that is fermented.
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
My English teacher told us to write about the history of our life. However, I hate writing, so I used AI to write it for me.
I guess you can say it's an auto-biography.
Did you guys hear about that 14-year old virgin girl who got pregnant after receiving the flu vaccine?
Sounds like an inoculate conception.
What do you call a light bulb at midnight?
A Night Light.
What do you call 3 knights in a relationship?
Polyarmory
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
Why is the Medieval period often called the Dark Ages?
Because there were so many knights.
Which one of King Arthur's knights named the Round Table?
Sir Cumference
During the medieval time period, there weren't many extremely bad people. There were only mid-evil people during that age.
My mum asked me to watch the stove while she went to the bathroom. She was so angry when she got back...
Things really boiled over
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
How were CDs packaged in Ancient Egypt?
Sphinx wrapped
Did you hear about the viking who hit his thumb with a hammer and bit his tongue?
It was Thor.
I think I met a medieval water snake
But I can't tell if it actually happened or if it was a dream.
It was totally Sir Eel.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Whats The Most tiniest Virus Ever? "smallpox".
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My Ph.D thesis was on cattle raised in the Roman city of Pompeii. To understand it all I had to visit the ancient mooins.
When does a medieval soldier sleep?
Knight time
What were middle-aged parents called in medieval times? Middle-aged parents.
How many museum curators does it take to change a light bulb?
6. 1 changes it and the other 5 preserve, display, and celebrate the old model.
With all the talk of the pandemic and vaccines recently, I decided to consult a micro-biologist.
I thought they'd be smaller.
Which underwear does King Tut wear?
Fruit of the tomb!
What do you call a Medieval spy?
Sir Veillance
Q: What was the most important holiday in ancient Egypt?
A: Mummy's Day.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
Why did the Pilgrims sail to America?
It was too far to swim.
Where in the World Can You Find the Highest Concentration of Engineers?
Antarctica! Because that's where all the P. Enguins are!
What was Camelot famous for?
It's knight life.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
What do you call a vegetarian Viking?
Norvegan.
What was the favorite pass time of peasants from the medieval time period? They absolutely love to go serfing!
What did the Psychologist tell the geologist? "Every decline is a great Break Through"
Professor: "What's a hydraulic ram used for?" "It's where you get steel wool!"
Why did the ancient Egyptians used to bury their Pharaohs in several layers of coffin? It was called multicasking.
What do you call a sick Egyptian?
Sir Cough-a-gus
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