When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
What do you call a funnel shaped storm made of ketchup?
A tormato.
What do pines eat for breakfast? Past-trees.
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
Last night the river was arrested. The river was accused of illegal streaming.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
What is batman’s favorite food (ans Just-ice)
Not much, just-ice.
Q: Why is there so much wind inside a sports arena?
A: Because of all the fans.
Q: What do you call a gust of wind that blows a tall guys onto a basketball court?
A: The NBA draft
Why won’t the mushroom buy a couch? - He prefers toadstools.
When does it start to rain money?
When there is change in the weather.
My wife refused to go to a nude beach with me
I can't believe she is so clothes-minded.
Where’s the best beach to buy sports gear at?
Jersey Shore.
Why didn't the hipster swim in the river? It was too mainstream.
What did the tree say when it fell down?
"Call pine one one!"
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What do you call a storm that doesn't come to fruition?
A mist opportunity!
Where does the sun hide at night? Just keep looking for it, it'll dawn on you soon!
Where do rocks like to sleep?
In bedrocks!
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What's the weather like in Mexico?
Chili today, hot tamale.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
I thought I was swimming in the river Thames, but apparently I made it all the way to France before I realized I'm in Seine.
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
What do snowmen eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
What did the boy volcano say to the girl volcano? I really lava you!
Why do sailors eat shellfish when rain is forecast?
It’s the clam before the storm.
Did you hear about the metamorphosis professor who just gave up on life? He really needed a change.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Shell yeah.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
There was news of a snowstorm. It arrived white on time.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What do you call a tooth in a glass full of water?
A one molar solution.
What did the tree do when it found that the bank had closed? It starts a new branch.
What does the fish say when she disagrees with her husband?
I don’t quite sea it that way.
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Watson: Sherlock, what type of rock is this amazing specimen?
Holmes: It’s sedimentary, my dear Watson.
Checked into a hotel and was offered the black & white or the rainbow room. I chose the rainbow one as I like a room with a hue.
When the moisture from the sky stops falling
It really stops waning
You can tell an ant’s gender by putting it in the water.
If it sinks, it’s a girl. If it floats, it’s a buoyant.
I heard that burglars used grass to pick a lock and gain entry to a local house, but the evidence may have been planted.
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