What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
Did you hear about the aspen who fell for the loggers’ scam? The copse wood not believe she fell for it.
The worst thing about living next door to a good gardener is that the grass is always greener on the other side.
What is an evil dictator’s favorite type of weather?
A rain of terror.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
Why did the strangers walk out onto the frozen pond?
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
Why aren’t trees competitive sports fans? They like to root for everyone.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
What did the little mountain say to the bigger mountain?
Hi, Cliff!
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Did you hear the joke about the elephant who was stuck in a tree last spring? To get down, she had to sit down on a branch and wait until fall.
What do you call a can of soda in a conglomerate? Coca-Cola Clastic.
What did the rock say to the word processor?
Boulder.
After all is red and done, all the colors in the rainbow are equally beautiful.
I lost my cat in a snowstorm!
But he should be fine because he's a cool cat.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
Q: What did the leaf say to the wind?
A: You really blew me away.
A friend of mine asked me to go hunting up in a dangerous mountain range.
I didn't bother because i thought the steaks were too high
what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
The juveniles
How do geologists like to relax?
In rocking chairs, of course!
What did the rainwater say as it ran off the road.
Grate.
I hate windy weather. It really blows.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
I don't like clouds. They're always throwing shade.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
What do you call dumb jokes at the beach?
Comic sands.
Why do cows lie on each other in the rain?
To keep each udder dry.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
What did one cactus say to the other cactus ?
"Lookin sharp !"
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
I just got fired from my job at the keyboard factory.
They told me I wasn't putting in enough shifts.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What do you call an old snowman?
Water.
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the bride say to her new husband at their wedding? - I love you so mush-groom!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
What falls all the time and never gets hurt? Rain.
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