What do you call grass that waits until the last minute to grow?
A Prograsstinator
Why are small dried up river beds so cool? Because they're ex-stream.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
I don’t know if I got hit by freezing rain but it sure hurt like hail.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What did the snowman order at the fast food restaurant?
An ice burger extra cheese.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
What do Ents wear to the beach?
Sandalwood.
What do they use to get a tan?
Palm oil.
Q: Why did the cloud do drugs and join a gang?
A: Atmospheric pressure.
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
What did the flower say when he saw his date?
I think you’re dandy, and I’m not lion!
What do you call the least popular color in the rainbow? The weakest pink.
Where does seaweed look for a job?
In the kelp-wanted section.
The reason lakes are bigger than rivers is because one has running water whereas the other water is merely standing.
What do you call water that is good for you?
Well water.
Who does their best work when they're under the weather?
Meteorologists.
What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Do you smell carrots?
Why did the boy keep his trumpet in the freezer?
Because he liked cool music.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
Did you hear about the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado? It was an udder disaster!
What do you call it when it's raining and the sun is shining but a rainbow doesn't come out? A refrainbow.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Why are flowers so good at problem-solving?
They know how to nip things in the bud.
What did the flower tell his son before a big game?
I’m rooting for you.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
Q: What did the tree say to the wind?
A: Leaf me alone
My glasses fogged up once I came out of the AC room last summer, but I was okay because I was opti-mistic.
Why is it always quiet in the forest? Because all of the trees sleep like a dog.
What was the worst crime in the tree kingdom? Tree-son.
Due to bad weather, I won't be attending the Meteorology Convention.
I'm gonna take a rain-check.
The wind had such a great time. You could say it had a blast.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
Farmers were in an all out war to decide which vegetable they would plant
It was resolved with a Peas Treaty.
What does a triangle palm like to study in school? Trigonometree.
Q: What did the tornado say to the sportscar?
A: I’m taking you for a quick spin!
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
What did the flower say when her son went off to college?
I be-leaf in you.
Where do the mushroom family keep their umbrellas, coats and shoes? In their porch-ini!
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
What did the flower say after he told a joke?
I was just pollen your leg!
The hiker hated the top of the mountain because it was all downhill from there!
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
If a hole isn't full of water then it isn't feeling well
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
What do you call people who go to space? Icetronauts.
Q: How does a butcher keep his tent up in a strong winds?
A: With steaks!
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
What do you call a tree with no tinsel, baubles, or topping?
A tree.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.