Q: What falls but never hits the ground?
A: The temperature
What clothes do rainbows wear? Thunderpants.
Tis the sea-sun.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
The book on Mount Everest was super interesting because it had so many cliffhangers.
How could the skeleton tell that rain was coming?
He could feel it in his bones.
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Why was fog kicked off the football team? He mist a field goal.
Did you hear about the loggers who stopped cutting down the forest? The trees really felt re-leafed.
How does one raindrop ask another out? Water you doing tonight?
I was going to tell a joke about the natural disaster in the Indian Ocean
But it was too Tsunami.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
The only way bees can fly right through the rain is when they have their yellow jackets on.
How does Santa look after the grass on his three gardens? Ho, ho ho.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What did the Jedi tell the sacred tree? May the forest be with you.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
You want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
Where do water droplets go to settle arguments?
The Supreme Quart.
Why did the flower take her husband back after he cheated?
She rose above it.
Why did the obtuse Triangle go to the beach?
Because it was more than 90°.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
What do you call a month’s worth of rain?
England.
The reason the mountains are hill areas joke gets reposted so often is because it's peak comedy
Why are cedars so hard to get along with? They suffer from bigo-tree and ex-tree-mism.
I quit my job at the concrete plant.
My job was getting harder & harder.
When the AC circuits in your home are hit by a DC lightning bolt..
It's a current affair.
That crazy little sun of a beach.
What do chic evergreens wear for cruelty-free fashion? Faux fir.
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the bartender say when he saw oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium and phosphorous enter his barroom? OH SnaP!
What does a flower say when they’re surprised?
What in carnation!
Whale, hello there.
What types of stories do giant sequoias love to tell? Tall tales, of course.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
What is black, purple, blue, yellow and white? Sugilite, sardonyx and opal all fighting over a gumball.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
Don't get tide down.
Every time I passed a ring-shaped coral reef with a coral rim that encircles a lagoon, I had to pay a fee. It was atoll.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What did the fish say when it ran into the wall?
Dam.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.