Why do bananas have to put on sunscreen before they go to the beach?
Because they might peel.
Son: “Hey Dad, can we go to the beach?”
Dad: “Shore?”
Why should you never expect perfection from geologists?
Because they all have their faults.
I imagined I saw a rainbow but it must have been a pigment of our imagination.
What did fog do to make the captain angry? He mist the boat.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
In what state is the Amazon River? It is in the liquid state.
What did the ocean say to the beach?
Thanks for all the sediment.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
When the storm begun, the garden party became a bit disorganized and food service was turned to a frost come frost served.
Beach you to it.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
I went fishing in the ocean the other day and caught one fish
but I think it was just a fluke.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Many people think that when warm droplets of water in the air are rapidly cooled it forms fog.
But it’s actually a common mist-conception.
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
Because they spend years at C!
My dad used to say "the sky's the limit"
Which is probably why he got fired from his job at N.A.S.A.
What did the priest say at the flooding river?
God, dam it!
Why don’t you see an ocean in school?
They just can’t wade through all that homework.
There was once a jolly happy mountain that offered fantastic advice to a grumpy hill. "Change your altitude", he said!
Wind energy is so popular. It has a lot of fans.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
What is a cat's favorite color in the rainbow? Purrrrrple of course.
Why do trees always hold grudges? Because they never fir-get.
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
What tree is bought the most at the plant store?
The poplar tree
Why did the Sugar Maple have to go to the dentist? It really needed a root canal.
Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
If there's a will, there's a wave.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Why couldn’t the oak tree make friends? All of the other trees thought that he was a bit shady.
This rock was magma before it was cool.
Get it?
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite game?
A: Twister
Why do trees always hate taking tests? Because they keep getting stumped by the questions.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
Why do you never see owls being affectionate in the rain? It's too wet to woo.
Why are trees the best frenemies? They are great at throwing shade.
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