Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
What do rocks eat?
Pom-a-granites.
What is it called when a tree stabs his friend in the back?
A be-tree-yal
When darkness sets in, fungi much like many other organisms go to sleep, but in mush-rooms.
It was a great fire. It was a bon-fire.
Did you hear about the red ship that collided with the blue ship?
All the sailors were marooned.
What do you call a baby owl stuck in the rain?
A moist owlette.
What did the man say when his wife asked if he remember to get the coffee with icecream inside it?
“Sorry! Affogato!”
What is Jack Frost’s favourite mode of transport?
A Tr-Ice-cycle
If your imagination hits peak high and you combine a toadstool and a suitcase, you won’t have mushroom for your vacation clothes.
What do you say when the beach asks you to walk on it?
Shore
What type of baseball player gives out all the water?
The Pitcher.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
What do you call it when two people make a baby in fog?
A mist conception.
The coffee shop kept samples of burnt coffee as evidence to fire their roaster.
It was used as grounds for dismissal.
What do aspens wear to school? A tree-shirt.
What is the best way for fungi to grow? You must give it as mushroom as possible!
What is the difference between a wet day and a lion with a toothache? A wet day is pouring with rain, the other is roaring with pain.
I’ve never understood fog machines.
They mystify me to this day.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Q: Why is it so windy in England?
A: Because Harry Kane (hurricane) lives there..
The forager was in such mixed moods this morning and we guessed he picked and ate the wrong class of mushrooms.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
How do you make holy water?
By boiling the hell out of it.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
I was trying to look at a picture of the ocean but kept having to reload the page, it finally worked after 5 attempts.
That was refreshing to sea.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
Why couldn’t the fish watch YouTube?
He couldn’t stream the video.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
The viking Rudolph the Red looked outside and proclaimed it was going to rain.
His wife asked him, “What makes you say that?”
He replied, “Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear.”
Why couldn’t anyone get a job at the ice rink?
There was a hiring freeze.
Ensure you save for the rainy day because even your closest friends can give you a cold shoulder.
When can your cup of coffee tell the weather?
When it's muggy.
What do you call two days of rain in a row in Seattle?
The weekend.
The Azteca Stadium in Mexico has been so neglectfully maintained that there are foot-long grasses on the pitch. Now we call it the Grass-teca Stadium.
When it comes to getting things done, my work ethic is like lightning.
I take the path of least resistance.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
How about the most dangerous mountain in the world? Kill-a-man-jaro.
Rivers are so lazy they never get out of their beds.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What is the name of the car that passes through the narrow stream of the river? Fjord.
What did the chemist cowboy tell his horse? HIO Ag!
If you go to a beach and you can see through it, you could say the coast is clear.
What is bigger than a Christmas tree?
A Christmas four
I have a hiking playlist with songs from the Peanuts, the Cranberries, and Eminem. I call it my trail mix.
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
Why Did the Whale Cross the Ocean?
To get to the other tide.
Did you hear about the cloud who became king? He rained for years.
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