Have you heard about the street performer who does his act in the middle of a storm?
It's mime blowing.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What type of car did the mushroom drive by in? A spores car.
What did the flower write in his mother’s day card?
I’m proud to be orchid.
How was the snow globe feeling after the storm?
A little shaken
What did the eskimo say when he chopped down a tree?
Tim-brrr
What did the mushroom’s sing when they won the closed-cup? - We are the champignons!
Q: Why does it smell bad when you destroy fans?
A: Because you’re breaking wind.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
A chemist plants a seed.
He takes good care of it every day. He waters it and fertilizes the soil around it. As it becomes a big and healthy tree, the chemist thinks to himself: What a good chemist-tree.
When it rains chickens and ducks, the best description for the weather is foul weather.
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
My neighbour always thinks he knows more about the weather than me
The guy is a real snow it all.
I was not allowed to do my stand up act at the mushroom comedy show. I guess I am not a fungi.
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What do you call two bandits in a race on the ocean.
Piracy.
What did the monochrome say to the rainbow?
Oh no! My arch nemesis!
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
I knew a guy that got struck by lightning twice.
It was a re-volting scene.
Why don’t trees travel in groups? Because two’s a company, but tree’s a crowd.
A man went to buy long underwear cause the weather was getting cold. The cashier asked " How long would you like them"
"From march to September", said the man.
I dropped my cactus the other day
Worst part is, I caught it
Why are there fish at the bottom of the sea?
Because they dropped out of school.
What holds the sun up in the sky?
Sunbeams
How one snowman greets the other one?
Ice to meet you.
I over boiled some venison broth earlier.
It was deerly mist.
What did the beaver say after she slipped in water?
Dam it.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
What is it called when bigger burgers fall from the sky?
Meatier showers.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
What's faster - lightning, light, or diarrhea?
Diarrhea. Because I ran like lightning to the bathroom, turned on the light, but the diarrhea was already there.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why didn’t Guns N Roses turn up for the gig when it was snowing?
Axel Froze.
When finally the encyclopedia on mushrooms was out, it was given the title ‘A Fungi-de to the Mushrooms’.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
Why did the dunce get hurt after raking leaves? He fell out of the tree.
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
Girls just wanna have sun.
What weighs more: a pound of logs or a pound of leaves? They weigh the same.
How was the misbehaving lightning bolt punished?
He was grounded.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
This rainbow is on its last legs, it's really hanging by a red.
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
Why do flowers always drive so fast?
They put the petal to the metal.
Did you hear about the soldier who got struck by lightning?
He had to be honorably discharged.
Is it hard to count conifers? It’s as simple as one, two, tree!
During the blizzard, the jalapeno said, I'm a little chilli.
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