Why did the man driving a train get struck by lightning?
He was a good conductor.
Lightning never strikes coffee in its bean form.
Only when it's ground.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
Why does the river have problems remembering things?
Because she is becoming sea nile.
What type of room do you eat? A mush room.
How do you wash clothes at the beach?
With Tide.
Be careful out there during the snowstorm. It ain't snow joke.
Two fish are swimming in a river, when one of them hits a concrete wall. He turns to the other and says: "Dam"
Knock Knock
Who's there?
Butter
Butter who?
Butter get an umbrella, it looks like it's going to rain!
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What did the cow that was struck by lightning say?
I'm udderly shocked.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What did the rainbow say to the pot of gold? You'll be the end of me.
Did you hear about the flower who gave an ultimatum to her husband?
She told him once and floral.
What's a king's favorite kind of precipitation?
Hail!
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
What happens when you blend an artificial waterway with a tree? You get a root canal.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What is a flower’s favorite Journey song?
Don’t stop be-leafing.
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
Can you tell me what type of weeping tree this is? Yes, but you willow me one later.
Why Did the Milkman Get Fired?
He was skimming off the top.
I just found out what animal’s been getting into my avocado plants...
It was a guaca-mole.
Sea you at the beach.
Today I helped father-in-law to fix his plants
it was very grounding.
What does a flower do when they get caught in a lie?
Backpetal.
Why do people like storm watching so much?
The lightning is quite striking!
What did one water bottle ask the other water bottle?
Water you doing today?
The winter is the worst time of year for a wedding. The grooms always seem to be getting cold feet.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Where do shellfish go to borrow money?
The prawn broker
I'm saving for a rainy day, so far I've collected a couple of raincoats, an anorak, and a dinghy.
You want to hear the best rock puns?
Give me a moment and I’ll dig something up.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
Because it was so foggy at my father’s funeral, he was buried in the wrong plot.
It was a grave mist-stake.
A mountain biker was chased by a Grizzly this morning. He bearly made it.
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
What did the man say after he slipped and fell on the ice. Nothing he just gave everyone the cold shoulder.
Look Honey, a cactus!
I haven't seen that many pricks in one place since your family was in for Thanksgiving!
There's a basic difference between weather and climate: you can't weather a tree, but you can definitely climate.
Which tree is more annoying, pine or oak?
Pine. Because pine needles while oak leaves.
How did the pines and firs end their war? With a tree-ty.
My friend has just won the tallest Christmas tree competition
I thought to myself, 'How can you top that?
What do you call it when a guy throws his laptop into the ocean?
Adele, Rollin’ in the Deep.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
What did the dessert say to the Granny Smith tree?
You’re the apple of my pie.
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
If you are preparing jacket potatoes, your choice vegetables should be button mushrooms.
What nature phenomenon is the funniest? A cyclown!
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