There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
How did the apple tree get the job? It had the right qua-leaf-ications!
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
How do you make holy water?
Make sure to boil the hell out of it.
Why was the Blonde fired from the M&M factory?
She kept throwing away the W's.
Many people seem to believe that warm water droplets get cooled fast and form fog. It's a mist-conception. Someone should de-mist-ify it.
Rain doesn’t fall. Raindrops.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
Did you hear about the bank that wanted to put an ATM up a tree? If it works, they are going to expand the idea to other branches.
I just got my degree in Sky Diving.
I had to drop out to graduate.
When it was raining yesterday, I saw a man use ketchup and I got quite shocked. It is only later that I learnt he was taking advantage of the raining cats and hot dogs.
All the grasses were bumping into each other because the grass-light wasn't working in the streets.
How the tree introduce themselves to the dentist?
“Implant”
I took a walk down by the river the other day and I heard two birds speaking Spanish...
Turns out they were Portu-Geese.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
The science teacher decided to take her class out on a field trip to the mountains because all the kids in her class desperately needed higher grades.
No matter how much she trimmed the particular strand of grass, the unruly grass kept on growing- what a grass-cal!
Humpty Dumpty had a terrible summer, but he sure had a great fall.
I have a butcher friend in London. Last week he caught a huge sea creature in the river there and made it into sausage. It was the beast of Thames. It was the wurst of Thames.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
What did the water plant worker say when their facility flooded?
Dam.
What do you call it when it rains ducks and geese?
Fowl weather.
I had the best ice pun to tell you…
Problem is, it slipped my mind.
What did the tornado say to the sports car?
Let's go for a spin!
Why was the dogwood always making bad choices? Because he kept barking up the wrong tree.
Trying to get to the end of the rainbow is a gold move.
In the mushroom bus, one mushroom said to the other, "Please scoot over, there is not mush room."
Q: How do clouds keep in touch with each other?
A: Using sky-pe.
I don't know if I just got hit by freezing rain, but it hurt like hail.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What kind of magazine does a rock like to read?
Rolling Stone.
What happened when it started raining coins?
It knocked some sense (cents) into the world.
The ocean cut off all ties with the river, because the river turned out to be too shallow.
Where do doubtful Egyptians get their water from?
Denial River.
Why did two fishes go to the riverbank? They wanted to withdraw their fins.
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
Salty but sweet.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Why are bad knitters and Christmas trees alike? They both drop their needles.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
A friend went in to his garden, dug a hole in the grass and filled it with water. I think he meant well.
Mushroom puns are the best for any occasion. They are very portabella.
Why is a river an amazing roommate?
He just likes to go with the flow.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why do earth science professors always talk about ammonia? Because it’s basic material.
When something evolves, it becomes a fork of nature.
What happened when the snowgirl had a fight with the snowboy?
She gave him the cold shoulder.
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