Never forget how beautiful the mountains are. You don't want to take them for granite.
What is fog's favorite drink? Mountain Dew
Where do fish keep their money? In river banks.
The weatherman said it might get a bit drizzly outside.
You can expect a Lil’ Wayne.
Water you doing?
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
Many years ago, my grandfather used to cut the grass- but, he's been gone for a lawn time.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
Why is it impossible to have a balanced conversation with a female mushroom? - Because shiitake too much!
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
How do cows intake water?
by Osmoosis.
The main difference between the weather and a horse is that one rains down while the other is reined up.
That rainbow is so neat, it must be professional gradient.
What do you call an amazing day up a mountain? A peak experience.
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What is a birch’s favorite dinosaur? The Tree
Rex.
What’s a cetacean’s favorite TV show?
Whale of Fortune.
What has leaves, is green and a trunk? A houseplant heading on vacation.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
There is always a first time to everything. For instance, when you take a mushroom either for lunch or dinner, you will be amazed at how magical it is.
How do two flowers greet each other?
Hey bud, how’s it growing?
Green vegetables absolutely love going on camps as a group. Their favorite is the Brussels Scouts.
Why was the man using ketchup during the rain?
Someone said it was raining cats and hot dogs.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
I wanna tell a joke about a girl who eats plants.
You've probably never heard of herbivore.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
With the kind of weather, it was almost certain that the bride-to-be would get a hoarse throat as she walked through the rain into her bridal shower.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
I have an exciting new job as an explosives engineer blowing up mountains for tunnels and roads.
It's Groundbreaking work.
What kind of money snowmen use in the North Pole?
Cold cash!
What does a flower therapist ask her patients?
Are you feeling bouquet?
I couldn't figure out why that ball in the sky kept getting bigger...
Then it hit me.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
Took the family on a whitewater rafting trip, and first time we came to a sudden descent in the river, we lost everything...
That was just one of the downfalls!
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
Why does the mermaid wear seashells?
Because she grew out of her B-shells.
Q: What is a tornado’s favorite Elton John song?
A: Candle in the Wind!
What did the flower say when he wanted a second chance?
I’ll grow on you.
What does a dolphin say when he’s confused?
Can you please be more Pacific?
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
A friend of mine is his team's best footballer on paper. Unfortunately, they play most of their games on grass.
Why was the sedimentary rock so cheap?
It was always on shale.
Why didn't the mexican archer fire his bow?
Because he didn't habanero.
What did the Atlantic Ocean say to the Pacific Ocean? Nothing, oceans don't talk they just wave!
I won an argument about weather forecasting accuracy. My fellow debater's logic was cloudy. After his defeat, he was fuming and he stormed out of the room.
What did the trees wear when they went to a pool party? Swimming trunks.
What book of the bible do you read on a beach?
The book of psalms trees.
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