What drug is illegal in the ocean
Sea weed
Mom told son to clean his room. But instead, he set it on fire.
It was a hot mess
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
Why didn’t the two algae ever have se*?
Because they had a planktonic relationship
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
What do you say to a pensive flower?
A peony for your thoughts?
Where do saplings graduate from? Elementree school.
I was so disappointed when I went to the court house themed restaurant and all they gave me was frozen water.
Justice was served.
I got fired from my job as a train operator and my job as a lightning rod.
I guess I'm just a bad conductor.
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
Why did the leaf go to the doctor? It was feeling green!
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
Have you ever heard of mushroom cars? Well, they have an interesting sound which goes line shroom shroom!
What do you call a camper driving through frozen rain?
Van Hailin’.
I was thinking about using a mushroom to poison someone. My morel stopped me.
Went camping last night. It was in-tents.
I’m going to start a YouTube channel where I critique bottled water...
It’s an untapped market.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
Q: What do you call a windmill swallowed up by a tornado?
A: A wind meal
What was the conversation like at the dinner party with all the boring flowers?
Like pollen teeth.
What did the flower do when she was challenged?
Rose to the occasion.
Did you hear about the sea captain who made a special salt-proof boat for the salty waters of the ocean?
It was a sailing solution to cross a saline solution
What do you call the people that you eat grass and produce milk alongside?
Cow-workers!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
How do the Skywalkers like their bath water?
Luke-warm.
I enjoy the cold weather
But only to a certain degree.
How much do you love rainbows? Just a skittle bit.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
What did Betula pendula tell her little sister when she was annoyed? Leaf me alone, birch.
I can't believe I can't see the bottom of the ocean.
It's unfathomable.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
What’s a good winter tip?
Never catch snowflakes on your tongue until all the birds have flown south for the winter.
Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
He just needed a kick in the bud.
In my village, there is a farmer who takes his cows to refill their food at the grass station.
I wanted to be a professional fortune-teller but I wasn't very good at it. I could only predict when there would be bad winter storms. Well, turns out I had been using a snow globe.
You can’t predict wind speeds with certainty. The best you can do is make a gust-imate.
What world-famous rock group has four guys that don't even sing? Mount Rushmore.
Why did the Platanus occidentalis have to go to the doctor more than the other trees? Because it was always sycamore.
What always goes up whenever the rain comes down? An umbrella.
How did the shark plead in the murder case?
Not gill-ty.
A storm blew away 25% of my roof last night....
..... oof !!
What do you call a benzene ring where the iron atoms replacing all of the carbon atoms? A ferrous wheel.
How did the wife know her mountaineering husband was cheating on her? She caught Himalayan about it more than once.
What do you call a Grizzly at a nude beach?
Bear Naked.
There was a rebellious lightning bolt who ended up in juvenile hall.
His parents grounded him so he struck them.
What did they use to set off the amazon warehouse fire?
Amazon kindle.
Four types of weather were having a race. Sunny won gold, cloudy got silver, snowy picked up a bronze, and rainy won a precipitation award.
There are two reasons why you should never drink toilet water.
Number one. And number two.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
Go to BabaMail
