What happened to the wooden car with a wooden engine and wheels? It wooden go at all.
You can bet on firemen at the beach.
It's a shore-fire thing.
What do you call a gangsta snowman?
Froze-T.
Green is the most relaxed color in the rainbow, it's so jade back.
There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
There are so much beautiful sceneries near the river valleys. They are totally gorges.
What does a tornado wear under his clothes? Thunderwear!
Why don't people ever talk about the fear of roses? Because it's a thorny issue!
My grand father always said "fight Fire with Fire".
He was a great man but a terrible Fireman
The plant was tired of being boring.
It has decided to turn over a new leaf.
What did one raindrop say to the other? Two's company, three's a cloud.
You'd never get a rainbow in the red of night.
The winds of change started raining silver, copper, and gold coins.
You have to act quickly during a flood because it's an emergent sea.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps.
What did the rock say after it rolled into a tree? Nothing because rocks can’t talk.
Iron Man's favourite Xmas gifts this year were socks that fire from his feet.
He called them missile toes.
What does a stick say when it falls down?
"Wood you help me up?"
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
There was a television channel ran by pets, the weather forecast was on and inclement weather was being predicted...
High chance of it raining cats and dogs, howling winds, and a possible purricane.
What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.
What do plants and homies have in common?
I love watching them grow.
How did the hipster drown?
He ice-skated before it was cool.
How do trees get onto the internet? They just log on.
When do monkeys fall from the sky?
During ape-ril showers.
Why are trees such great drivers? They always take the shortest root.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Grass absorbs nutrients always by the process of grass-imilation.
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Why was the tree doctor so good at his job? He could always get to the root of the problem.
I needed to add some grass seeds to my lawn. The only thing I could find to keep the seeds out of my flower bed was some ceramic bunnies my wife had, so I used those as a barrier.
Please don't make fun of my re-seeding hare line.
What did the gold say to the pyrite?
You’re a fool and a fake!
How do you get into the mush-room? Ring the porta-bella.
What does seaweed say when it's stuck at the bottom of the sea? "Kelp! Kelp!"
What happens when you blend sulfur, tungsten and silver together? SWAG.
Why is the world so diverse?
Because it contains alkynes of people.
I fernly beleaf my tree puns are qualitree, you can leaf me alone if you disagreen.
Mushrooms always hate going to school. They feel inferior before the rest because they are always so spore-d.
I'll open fire on anyone who says video games make children violent!
What do trees drink at their parties? Root beer.
What is a mushroom’s favorite hobby? - Spore-t!
I was going to try putting a mushroom into my cola. I wanted to be a my cola gist.
So I cut down a tree using my vision today
It’s true, I SAW it with my own eyes.
I installed a sky light in my apartment.
The people upstairs were not happy at all.
What is a cactus’ favorite MC Hammer song?
Can’t touch this.
They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
Whale, hello there.
Why did the sapling jump in the ocean? He wanted to swim with the manatrees.
What happens when you keep reading geology jokes in your free time? You know that you have really hit rock bottom.
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