Why does lightning strike a tree before a person?
Because it takes the path of leaf resistance.
A bunch of chill-dren from the neighborhood played all afternoon in the snow.
With the nice warm weather last weekend, a neighbor was enthusiastically diggin' in the dirt planting his garden!
He was so excited about it, he wet his plants.
Did you want to hear the joke about the mountain? Never mind, you would never get over it.
When can 3 elephants stand under 1 umbrella and not get wet?
When it’s not raining.
Australia announced that they have begun dumping sewage into the ocean
It’s now classified as an in-continent.
. How can you easily identify a dogwood tree? By listening to the bark.
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
A plant is fine, a shrub is fine, but tree's a crowd.
My dad works in a steel plant.
He says it's very riveting.
Why did the river refuse to join the sea? Because the sea was salty.
How much does a flower love their friends?
Bunches.
The fisherman lost his new fishing hook in the river. He refused to accept it. He was in the Nile.
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window?
Snow and Tell.
What is the same shape and size as a sequoia tree, but weighs nothing at all? The tree’s shadow.
What did the Ocean say to the shore?
Nothing. It just waved.
What language do things that fly in the sky speak....
Plane english
I was hiking in mountains the other day and a big cat started attacking me
Man, I puma pants
Why did the tectonic plates break up?
It wasn’t her fault, but there was just too much friction between them.
Why can’t a Christmas tree sew? It keeps dropping its needles.
Why don’t Native Americans like to do rain dances in April anymore?
Because April showers bring Mayflowers.
A cowboy and a Mexican were walking side-by-side by a beach in Mexico. The Cowboy asked to the Mexican if the Gulf of Mexico was an ocean.
"Sea, Señor," replied the Mexican.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
Even during thunderstorms, Santa can still deliver presents because raindeers fly his sleigh.
When is it raining money? Whenever there's 'change' in the weather.
Why did the cow go to space?
to get ice cream.
The shrubs were gearing up for a fight with the grass, but they never saw the blades come in.
What did the flower say after it told a joke?
I was pollen your leg
Q: How is hurricane season like Christmas?
A: At some point, there’s going to be a tree inside your house.
What do you call a rock that never goes to school?
A skipping stone!
What did one hat say to the other on the hiking trip?
I'll wait here, you go on ahead.
Why are trees the largest plant? Because they are truly tree-mendous.
What do you say to a flower after a breakup?
Get clover it.
What did the beaver tell the tree? It has really been nice gnawing you.
Why do trees have to drink responsibly? Otherwise, they become a bunch of trunk idiots.
My family wanted me to cut the grass, but I couldn't get myself mow-tivated.
Why did Frosty the snowman want a divorce?
Because he thought his wife was a flake.
What does a mountain often do at its daily meal? It avalunch.
What did you call an awesome geologist? A rockstar!
Why is the mushroom always invited to parties? Because he's a fun-gi.
What did the evaporating raindrop say?
I’m going to pieces.
What do flowers study in college?
STEM.
What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle!
We got the news of a coming flood today. The news was leaked.
How does a mushroom decorate a home? With toadstools.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
Where do you go to weigh a pie? Somewhere over the rainbow.
What do baleen whales call a hook-up?
Netflix and krill.
I was hiking yesterday, when I suddenly ran in to a cougar....
Almost made me puma pants!
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