The fungi turned down seconds at dinner because he never had mushroom.
What's the fastest thing on the river bed?
A motor-pike and side-carp.
Why did the River go to the doctor? Her flow wouldn't stop.
Why can’t minerals ever lie? They’re always in their pure form.
When does soil get rich?
When mother nature makes it rain.
What did the metamorphic rock say during the test? This is too much pressure!
Why do sharks only swim in salt water?
Because pepper always makes them sneeze.
What do you call a baby tree struck by lightning?
A zapling.
How does a penguin build a house?
Igloos it together.
How do you find Will Smith in the snow?
You look for Fresh Prints!
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
Where do flowers recharge? At a power plant!
Why are trees so active in politics? They really like grass roots movements.
What do you call a grandpa flower?
Poppy.
What's the difference between a BMW and a Cactus?
Pricks are on the outside of Cactuses.
What does a fish say when he makes a mistake?
It was just a fluke!
Want to hear the best rock puns? Give me a moment and I'll dig something up!
What goes hiss, swish, hiss swish every time it rains? A windscreen viper.
What kind of shorts do clouds wear? Thunderwear!
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
What do you say when you want a flower to drive faster?
Floret.
I am still trying to launch beef and cream out of a mushroom cannon. It is not stroganoff.
There's a criminal who lives at the end of the rainbow, who likes to trick people. He is called the lepre-con artist.
You can't blame anyone if you fall in your driveway due to snowy weather...
Because that's your own asphalt.
Mother always knows best. But when winter comes around, Mother Nature snows best.
Why did the lettuce and the mushroom break up? The lettuce was pretty but the mushroom did not have much room for her in his life.
What did the teaching tree do when it went overseas? It took a leaf of absence!
My friend, while driving through the mountains watching the leaves change: I love the winter. All the naked trees.
Me: Yeah, you can see all their knotty parts.
My fire tonight...
Was lit!
What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frost bite.
What does the birch like to study in school? Chemistree.
What type of mushrooms can you put on a jacket? Button mushrooms.
What kind of bean never grows in a garden? A jelly bean!
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
What did the ground say to the earthquake? You crack me up!
What is it called when a snowman has a temper tantrum?
A meltdown!
Are you addicted to the ocean and ocean life?
If you are, sea kelp
There are lots of funny jokes about mushrooms that can give you stitches. However, you need to be patient enough because they need time to grow on you.
Did you know humans can be struck by lightning?
I was shocked when I found out.
What can you catch in the winter with your eyes closed?
A cold.
I got lost in the mist today.
I didn’t have the foggiest idea where I was.
Q: Where can a tornado be jailed?
A: In a high pressure cell.
A red ship and a blue ship collided in the ocean.
Apparently the survivors are marooned.
Did you hear about those really bad storms that hit that boy scout camp over night?
They were in tents.
The ocean made me salty.
My friend couldn't afford to pay his water bill.
So I sent him a “get well soon” card.
What did one cloud of fog say to the other?
I don’t know. It’s a mistery.
What did the sarcastic otter say?
I think you’ve confused me with someone who builds a dam.
How do you know you’re in love with a flower?
Not a daisy goes by where you don’t think of them.
Why are coyotes howling in the night?
Because they can only see the cactuses in the day.
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