Why was the pine tree always in trouble? It kept being knotty.
Never go on a date with a cactus
They'll spike your drink
What do you call it when you get a month’s worth of rain at once?
England.
How do you cut an ocean in half?
With a seasaw!
Where do naughty rainbows go?
Prism
Have you heard about the banker who drowned in a river? It was a river of cash.
What did the mushroom say after the car accident? Help I’m a truffle!
Q: Why did the little clouds idolize the big cloud?
A: Because he was the raining champion.
Why didn’t the flower get a second date?
He was garden variety.
What do fashionable mountains wear when it's cold? An ice cap.
Q; What’s the difference between origami and grandpa passing wind?
A: One is the art of the fold, the other, the fart of the old.
I got camping insurance....but if someone steals my tent in the middle of the night....
I'm no longer covered.
If your canoe turns upside down in the water, you can wear it on your head.
Because it’s capsized.
The feds were on a global hunt for a cow who was known to hide behind foliage. They finally located her in Moss-cow.
Why is grass so dangerous? Because it is full of blades!
I mist say, this is a pretty bad joke, but it haze potential.
I would love climbing to the peak of Mount Everest, but I do not see the point.
What is the hardest part about being a tree? You have so many limbs, but you still can’t walk.
I see fewer and fewer rainbow tie-dye t-shirts these days. It's a dying art.
A woman who gave birth in a tree was sent to jail
She was charged with treeson
I enjoy throwing coins in the river and watching them. I like studying my cash flow.
What do you call a human that's now a cactus?
A transplant.
What did the beaver say when it saw it's home on fire?
Hot Dam!
After the rain has cleared and the sun comes out, rainbows are so quick to appear they'll red like wildfire.
Why did the mushroom need time off work? Because he was fried.
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
My parents always told me I can be anything I wanted, the sky's the limit
This made me sad because I wanted to be an astronaut.
Yesterday’s weather forecast predicted freezing rain. However, it turned out to be quite an ice day.
The man got shocked when he got down in the river because the river current was too strong.
What's all wet and likes to shake? It's an earthquake on a rainy day.
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
Bamboozled!
What do you get from sitting on the snow too long?
Polaroids!
What type of weapon can you make with potassium, iron and nickel? A KniFe.
How did the old man walk his way out of the storm so fast?
Because, he had a hurry cane.
A young boy and his dad laid on the grass, looking at the sky. The boy asked, "Dad, will you teach me about the sky?"
The dad replied, "Son, it's way over your head."
What is the favorite Mexican food of snowman?
Brrrr – itos.
I never knew how lightning worked
Thats until it finally struck me.
Does a water bed become bouncier when you fill it up with spring water?
The weather man said there won’t be any rain for 6 months, but I drought it.
Where do fish wash? In a river basin.
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
It was a flop.
Why are trees so silly? All of their puns arboring and acorny.
What does a spy do in the rain?
He goes undercover.
When a mountain falls sick, it tells the doctor that he's feeling really very, very hill.
What’s a flower’s favorite band?
Guns n’ Roses.
Why does the river never get lost?
She always finds the right pathwave.
What did one ocean say to another?
Nothing, it just waved.
What do you call a martial arts expert in a tree?
Bruce Leaf.
Green seemed to disappear from the rainbow it came back in full force, olive and kicking.
What do you call a friendly volcano? Lava-ble.
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