I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
What do you call a police officer who plays the drums?
A beat cop.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
How many conductors does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows because no-one ever watches the conductor.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
What do you call a musician with problems? a trebled man.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
What did Jay-Z call his wife before they got married?
Feyonce.
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
I asked my musician friend if he plays by ear.
He said, "Yes, it's a violin. That is how you hold it."
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What do you call a guitar used to play pool?
A cue stick.
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
Two windmills are standing in a wind farm. One asks, “What’s your favorite kind of music?” The other says, “I’m a big metal fan.”
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but I had to give it up. It was just one ting after another.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
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