Me and my friends are in a band called “Duvet”.
We’re a cover band.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
My girlfriend left me because of my obsession with Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
The ad said "Free Violin", but there were strings attached...
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
Today, my pastor started talking to the drum set during his sermon.
Boy did I appreciate the cymbal-ism
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do a viola and a lawsuit have in common?
Everyone is happy when the case is closed.
"learn to play piano by ear!"
"Thanks, I'd rather use my fingers."
What kind of music are balloons afraid of? Pop Music.
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
What did the man do when he dropped his violin?
He quartet...
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
How are trumpets like pirates?
They both murder in the high C’s.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
Violinist Caught following a String of Robberies.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
Which band were way ahead of their time in the stage lighting department?
LED Zeppelin.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
Our church band is just two ladies on percussion...
It’s quite the CoNunDrum
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
I recently met a musical group of pirates.
They called themselves A-Band-On-Ship.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
What do you call an annoying person who plays the trumpet?
A brasshole.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
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