Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
Have you heard of the band 1023MB?
They haven't got a gig yet.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What do you call a low-quality Russian composer, pianist, and conductor of the late Romantic period?
Knockmaninoff.
What does a trumpet and a baseball have in common? People cheer when you hit them with a bat.
What happened when the guitars got in a fight?
They got in treble.
Why was the square dance fiddler arrested for smuggling?
Because of his contra band...
What do you call a cow that plays the saxophone? A blues moo-sician.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What do you call a fishing boat with a great stereo?
bass boat.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
What do you call a singing laptop?
A Dell.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
I made a fiddle from a squash yesterday...
... i think it's broken, it only plays gourd vibrations.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
What's the definition of a gentleman? One who knows how to play the saxophone, but doesn't!
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
I had a job repairing 17th century violins...
I only fixed instruments that were BAROQUE.
What was stolen from the music store? The lute.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What do you call it when you spill your drink all over a piano?
Rag time.
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