Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
What do you call a pianist who throws trash everywhere?
Litterachi.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What's a bipolar person's favorite type of music? Swing.
Newscaster Dad: And now, here is John with the weather.
Weatherman: It’s Jim, actually.
Newscaster: My apologies. Here’s John with the Jim.
I listenend to the football game on the radio. It was being broadcast on a catholic satellite radio station.
So I tirned to my dad and said, "That's weird. Football isn't even that religious of a sport!"
My dad replied, "Nope. Lacrosse is!"
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
My uncle was crushed by a piano...
His funeral was very low key.
What do you get when you play New Age music backwards?
New Age music.
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
Want to start a Hula band that covers music by Poison.
Gonna call it Poi, Son.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
What do you call a cow that plays the violin?
Moozart.
Why was Mozart a child prodigy?
All his early pieces were in A sharp minor.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
What music are balloons scared of? Pop music
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
What is a garbage disposal’s favorite music group?
NSYNC.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
I found this amazing bluegrass band that does covers of 80s rock.
They call themselves Ban Jovi.
I really like guitars
They just strike a chord with me.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What’s the first thing a musician says at work?
“Would you like fries with that?”
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
If you suck playing the trumpet, that's probably why.
Egyptians claimed to have invented the guitar,
But they were such lyres.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What did the LEFT Stereo Speaker say to the RIGHT, as he was being taken away for repairs
AUDIOS!
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
A sheep, a drum and a snake fall down a cliff,
Ba-dum-tss
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
Why did the Turkey want to join a band?
Because it had drumsticks!
What do you call an 80s synth pop band with a scoop of ice cream? Depeche a la Mode.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
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