I used to think that all radios had antennae, then I realized it was a stereo type.
How many indie musicians does it take to change a light bulb?
It’s an obscure number, you probably haven’t heard it.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
I bought an old stereo.
My wife has her doubts, but I think it's a sound investment.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
I hooked a stereo up to my recliner.
Now it's a rocking chair.
Have you heard about the new band located in the north east of england?
They're called Durham Durham.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
Did you hear the one about the pianist convention?
They had a few keynote speakers
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
What sound drum set from the junkyard makes?
Ba-dump-tss
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
What is the musical part of a snake?
The scales.
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
What did the drum say about his childhood?
Those were the cymbaler days.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What concert costs $0.45?
50 Cent with Nickelback.
Did you know Rolf Harris was a talented violinist as a child?
Yeah, he was a mean kiddie fiddler.
What did Hillary Clinton say when Bill wanted a new Saxophone?
"Not until you get rid of that HarMonica."
Why did the skeleton want to join band?
He wanted a trom-bone!
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
The Cuban main violinist's string snapped during a performance. Luckily, he got offered another violin by his American friend.
That day, another Fiddle Catastrophe was prevented.
Which heavy metal band is Santa's favourite?
Sleigh-er.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What is Jehovah's witness' favorite band? The Doors.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
I don't usually brag about my drum jokes but um...
tss
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Don't you dare hit that drum again!
If you do, there will be repercussions!
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
I heard Placebo on the radio. I actually thought it was The Cure.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
What concert costs 45 cents?
50 Cent featuring Nickelback.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base?
A flat major.
I've recently started up a band called "Mum's The Word."
If anyone asks, you've not seen us.
I was supposed to play the trumpet
But I blew it.
I'm 6'6", 280lb, and I've played piano for 23 years
I'm a huge pianist.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Did you hear about that music composer who committed suicide? He didn't even leave a note.
Why do saxophone players get so many dates?
Because they have sax appeal
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Drums - You can't beat 'em. Well, you have to, really.
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