What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
What did Prince leave on the neck of his guitar?
Finger prince.
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
What kind of music group only makes songs for exercise programs?
A sweatband.
What do you call a berry that plays the trumpet? A tooty fruity!
What musical group do men join once they get married?
The Hus Band!
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
How did the turkey win the talent show? With his drum-sticks.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
What do you call the worlds smallest violin?
Hard to play.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
When did the pianist finally turn their life around?
After they hit Rockbottomoff.
Which genre of music appeals to most cheeses? R'n'Brie
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What do you do to a female news anchor who breaks a leg?
You put her in a broadcast.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
What’s the difference between a musician and a 14-inch pizza?
A 14-inch pizza can feed a family of four.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
Remember the band that did that rock cover of “walk like an Egyptian’ by The Bangles?
Pharaohsmith.
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
Why did the pianist quit playing the piano?
Bad Bach.
What do you call someone that plays Tenor and Alto saxophone?
Bisaxual.
10 saxophone players blew up a theatre...
authorities are on the lookout for the tenorists.
What does Eric Clapton and a cup of coffee have in common? They both suck without Cream.
What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
Why do blues musicians tour the most in the summer? So they can visit all their kids.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
Did you hear the Islamic music group who covered "I've Got You Babe?"
Sunni and Shia.
I used to be the triangle player in a Jamaican band but I had to quit....
It was always just one ting after another.
What happened when the drummer re-recorded his drum solo?
There were repercussions.
What do you call it when a musical group provides assistance?
Band aid.
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
I'm starting a death metal band for people with Celiac's Disease
We're called "Gluten for Punishment."
What is Beethoven doing now?
De-composing.
A musician told me he was going to hit me with the neck of his guitar.
I replied, “Is that a fret?”
What kind of music do mummies listen to?
Wrap music.
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
Shopping at the music store, my friend had to settle for a fiver saxophone ...
They couldn't afford a tenor.
Did you hear about the clam that could play violin?
It had excellent mussel memory.
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
Why can't Woody play his guitar?
He doesn't know where his Pixar.
What is the difference between a trumpet soloist and King Kong? King Kong is more sensitive.
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