What do you call a group of killer whales carrying musical instruments.
An orca-stra.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
What is a pianist’s favorite cheese ?
Mozzartrella.
Ringo, John snd George walked into an electric guitar shop...
They were less Paul.
Someone once asked if I ever played the violin
I told him that I had fiddled with it.
What do you call a distilled botanical that likes to play the guitar??
Ginny Hendrix
Why aren't high school twins afraid of getting mono?
Because they get stereo instead!
I've been diagnosed with a type of amnesia that makes me deny the existence of certain 80's bands.
There is no cure.
How do you make a bandstand?
Take away their chairs.
Why did the burglars decide to rob a music store?
For the lute.
I'm starting a music group that performs Classical Greek music.
I'm calling it Oedipal Arrangements.
What do you call a cow that can play a musical instrument?
A moo-sician.
Why shouldn’t you let kids watch big band performances on TV?
Too much sax and violins.
How do you fix a broken tuba?
With a tuba glue.
Asked a pianist if he could play the Chick Pea Song.
He said, "Maybe. Can you hummus a few bars?"
Why did the music teacher need a ladder? To reach the high notes.
My dad just told be a cool joke about drums
I thought I’d snare it with you guys
When I play my violin it always sounds like it's crying
It's must be too highly strung
What do you call a communist violin?
The second Fidel.
What chord does jesus play on guitar?
Gsus
Why did the jazz musician refuse to be quarantined?
Cause he was an outdoor cat.
What do call a guitar player without a girlfriend?
Homeless.
What’s a golf clubs favorite type of music?
Swing.
I wrote a song about a tortilla. Well actually, it’s more of a wrap.
A drum rolled down a hill.
Ba-dum tsssh!
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
A woman is on trial for beating her significant other with a guitar. “First offender?” the judge asked.
“No” she replied. “First a Gibson , then a Fender”.
Did you hear about the broadcasters in the aeroplane?
They're on air now
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What's the difference between trumpet players and government bonds? Government bonds eventually mature and earn money.
I bought my daughter into a radio...
She's not very e-static about it.
My orchestra buddy wanted to bring his fiddle to a protest. I told him not to.
In a peaceful protest, there's no need for violins.
One of my ancestors was once hired by Henry VIII to teach his son to play the trumpet
He was a Tudor tooter tutor.
What do you call a boy and girl playing blues music? The battle of the saxes.
Why can't a Platypus be trusted on the radio?
Because they all have fowl mouths.
Musicians?
Oh yeah, we think outside the Bach’s.
There are so many jokes about classical composers I could write you a Liszt.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
After playing guitar for years I thought I could learn to play the piano.
But it's not an easy instrument to pick up.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What do you get when you cross a fridge with a radio? Cool Music
What's the difference between a guitar and a fish?
You can tune a guitar but you can't "tuna" fish!
People don't believe me when I tell them I'm the lead singer in a Black Eyed Peas tribute band....
Well I am.
How are pirates like trumpets?
They murder the high C’s!
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
How do you tell the difference between a violinist and a dog?
The dog knows when to stop scratching.
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