What kind of cheese is really good at guitar?
Shreddar.
What did the violin say when it finally played the music correctly?
Viola.
What's worse than a SPIDER on your PIANO?
CRAB on your ORGAN.
I wrote a song to memorialize the man killed when a piano fell down a mine shaft.
It's in A flat minor.
Whats the difference between and orchestra and a bull? On the bull the horns are in the front and the a***ole is in the back.
What instrument do English people play?
The Anglo-Saxophone!
You ever heard the Stormtrooper band?
Probably not, they've never had a hit.
The only difference between a band teacher and a banned teacher
is what they were bangin
How many second violinists does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They can’t get up that high.
What’s the difference between a violin and a fiddle?
One has strings and the other has strangs.
Name a rock group where none of the members sings or plays music.
Mt. Rushmore!
My friend told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.
Apparently she was a saxy lady.
What do you call a group of orcas that play music?
An iPod.
The police came to arrest me after I tried to play my cat like a violin
They are charging me with Kitty Fiddling.
Silent Violin for Sale
No strings attached.
What did Beethoven say to Johann Sebastian when he was helping him parallel park?
“Bach it up.”
Which composer likes tea the most?
Chai-kovsky.
What did the drummer name his twin daughters?
Anna one, Anna two...
How do you trap a drum kit?
Use a snare
What is the difference between a saxophone and a lawnmower? Vibrato.
My band only plays dog whistles.
You've probably never heard us.
A piano player got arrested at a wedding...
He was trying to root the relatives.
What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner?
You have to plug one of them in before it sucks.
What's an owl's favorite rock band?
The Who
What do you call it when there are two nuns in a drum circle?
a conundrum
I had to borrow my friend’s trumpet because I sounded too good on my own, and people would be jealous!
I didn’t want to toot my own horn.
What was Beethoven’s favourite fruit?
BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA... BA-NA-NA-NAAAAAA...
There was a fish who wanted to be a broadcaster...
Until he went on air.
Did you hear about the conductor who was arrested for inciting violins?
They strung him up, but he didn't fret.
Why did the pianist turn around on his way to the grocery store?
He forgot his Chopin Liszt.
What's brown, lumpy, and sits on a piano bench?
Beethoven's Last Movement
A bloke came up to me and said im going to attack you with the neck of my guitar.
I said to him, "is that a Fret"?
What kind of music should you listen to while fishing?
Something catchy.
Have you guys heard of the musical group called Cellophane?
They mostly wrap.
I tried to play a bass guitar once.
It didn't make much sound, and it slipped out of my hands and swam away.
What does a trumpet and a lawsuit have in common? Everyone is relieved when the case is closed.
What do you call a owl dance party that only plays folk music?
A hootenanny.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
We're a cover band
What genre are national anthems?
Country.
How do you keep your violin from being stolen?
Put it in a viola case.
C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Hold it! We don't serve minors here."
I've removed all the black keys from my piano
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Why can’t skeletons play church music?
Because they have no organs.
Where did the music teacher leave her keys?
In the piano.
The worst pub I’ve ever been in was called The Fiddle.
It was a vile inn.
Why can't guitars have fun with friends with benefits?
Because without strings attached they just can't play...
What did the band Boston say in praise of the Sistine Chapel?
"It's more than a ceiling"
I saw a Jazz band last night, but they really sucked...
They really saxophoned it in.
What was the pianist doing at the mall?
Chopin.
Did you hear about the new Smashing Pumpkins cover band?
They call themselves Squished Squash!
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