It's true what they say about scaring vampires with a torch.
You can see it in their fright of light response.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What do you call a half man half horse in the middle of an army formation?
The centaur of attention.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
When the ghost blew his nose, lots of boo-gers came out.
How do zombies introduce themselves?
- Pleased to eat you.
Why did the skeleton start the fight?
He had a bone to pick.
Where do ghosts go trick or treating? Dead ends.
Tne thing you won't catch a vampire ordering in a restaurant is a stake sandwich.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
Why do werewolves not enter the Olympics? Too high a chance of a silver medal.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
I just found out my Husband is a Ghost. I realised the moment he walked through the door.
Why don’t people like grumpy vampires?
Because they have bat tempers.
What did the ghost do at the red light? He came to a dead stop.
What did one sea monster say to the other sea monster when they started their new jobs as sewer inspectors?
- It’s going to be a Nessie job, but let’s get Kraken!
When a Minotaur considers himself an optimist is it that he sees his glass as half-bull?
Werewolves love similes and metafurs.
Where do zombie monkeys live?
In the brain forest.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
Dracula always read the best selling local newspaper because he heard that it had a good circulation.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What is a werewolf’s favorite drink?
Moonshine.
Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween?
The witches sweep the sky.
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What does a heartbroken zombie say?
- I just want zombodie to love.
What did the zombie say when she thought the werewolf was keeping secrets?
Spill the zombeans.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
If you're wondering if someone's become a vampire, there's an easy way to tell. A true vampire is always coffin.
I knew a vampire who became a poet.
He went from bat to verse.
What’s a werewolve's favorite hobby?
Collecting fleas!
What is a witch's favorite ride at the fair?
A scary-go-round.
Who cast the spell of sleep on Dorothy? It was the wicked witch of rest.
What do witches put on their hair? Scare spray.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
- Do old zombie actors ever die?
- Yes, they sometimes drop a part.
What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What do zombies eat for dessert?
Eyes cream.
What did one angry werewolf say to the other?
- I have a bone to pick with you!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
There is a Giant Screwdriver attacking the city. Please seek shelter immediately. This is not a drill.
Why do Ghosts avoid the rain? It dampens their spirits.
What's a zombie's least favorite quiz question?
A no-brainer.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What did the ghost teacher say to her class? - Look at the board and I’ll go through it, again.
Ghosts are terrible liars because you can see right through them.