Why is Frankenstein always asking for help?
He’s looking for someone to give him a hand.
What is a skeleton’s favorite type of film to watch?
A spine-tingler.
What kind of werewolf can track down flowers ?
A bud hound
I met an annoying squid who wanted to become a comedian.
He wouldn’t stop kraken jokes.
Who is a Yeti's favorite Dracula actor?
Christobrr Lee.
Why do demons and ghouls hang out together?
Because demons are a ghoul's best friend.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Why did the mummy get a divorce?
His wife was a ghoul-digger who was just after his mummy.
Why do girl ghosts go on diets?
So they can keep their ghoulish figures.
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
When do zombies go to sleep?
When they are dead tired.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
Live to tell the tail.
Why was the skeleton a success at work?
He had a head for business.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What's the ghoul's favorite sauce?
Grave-y.
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What do you call a hairy beast that no longer exists?
A were-wolf!
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
"The Full Moon is a natural furnomenon," said the werewolf.
A vampire can't be a comedian. They just aren't funny, and worst of all they always know they suck.
Witch you were here.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
How does Bigfoot stay in shape?
It does Sas-squats.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Why did the witch stay in a hotel during her travels?
She heard they had great broom service.
What do you call a mythical being working in a smoothie store?
Mejuicea.
What do ghouls love to eat?
Fettuccini Afraid-o!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
How do you beat a vampire at poker?
Raise the stakes!
Why did Frankenstein’s monster give up boxing?
Because he didn’t want to spoil his looks.
Bigfoot saw me today
I bet nobody believes him.
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween?
Ghoul-aid!!!
Why do vampires eat lentils?
Because they are so into pulses.
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
Why doesn’t Frankenstein go on airplanes?
He can’t get past the airport metal detector.
What do Krakens eat?
Fish and ships.
What did the skeleton say when he went riding on his motorcycle?
- I’m bone to be wild!
How do you stop an Internet troll?
Seize their memes of production.
What did the zombie say when she fell out with her vampire friend?
- You're dead to me!
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
What do you call the ghost of a door-to-door salesman? A dead ringer.
How did Frankenstein know Jesus was coming for a visit?
He used his frankincense.
What do werewolf like for breakfast?
Pooched eggs.
What a werewolf movie, talk about howling!
Dracula is vegan, he can't take any risks. One stake could kill him.
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
The vampires were in a mood, so I thought I'd do something to cheer them up. They were over the moon that I re-vamped their castle.
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