Why did the zombie comedian get booed off stage?
Because the jokes he told were rotten.
Who is a ghoul’s favorite family member?
Mummy!
Dracula really doesn't have any other vampire friends. It's because he's a total pain in the neck.
Witches get so excited to decorate their cauldron because their favorite hobby is witchcraft.
What do you call a fast broomstick?
A vroom-stick.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What would you call a singer who's really scared of medusa?
A rockstar.
What do you call a male witch?
Mitch
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
Why are skeletons so good at chopping down trees?
They're LUMBARjacks!
How does Frankenstein jump-start his day?
With a shock of lighting.
What do vampires do when they are trying to fall asleep?
Count Draculas.
What did the angry witch do after sitting on her broomstick?
She flew off the handle.
What did the Turkey wear on Halloween?
He was a goblin.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
Why did the troll fall back with his army?
He didn't want to be ogre-run by the enemy.
Witches get sore joints because they have broom-atism.
What happened to the man who didn’t pay his exorcist? His house was repossessed.
Where do vampires eat their lunch?
At the casketeria.
Did you hear about the werewolf who got invited to the dance?
He really wanted to go, but the upcoming full moon was giving him paws.
What do you get when you cross a vampire with an ice cube?
You end up with frost bite.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
What do you call a hairy beast that’s lost?
A where-wolf!
What do you call a duck with fangs?
Quackula.
What did Dracula say to the priest who visited his castle?
Don’t you ever cross me!
“Watch out! The road curves ahead” cried the skeleton.
“It’s spine“ replied the driver.
Why did the monster call his werewolf “Frost”?
Because frost bites!
Why do witches only ride their broomsticks at night?
That's the time to sweep.
What kind of tests are witches given in school?
Hex-aminations.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What did Frankenstein say when he was struck by lightning?
Great! A jolt to the bolt!
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
What did the giant say to Jack when he caught him sneaking around his castle?
"Have you bean stalking me?"
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
Did you know Doctor Frankenstein used to be a lonely, lonely man?
Then he learned how to make friends.
What do zombies say to their sweethearts?
- I chew-s you.
A werewolf's favorite day of the week is Moonday.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
I'm considering becoming a cinematografur.
Why did the zombie go crazy?
He had lost his mind.
What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball.
When they want to relax, ghosts have a boo-ble bath.
Why did the werewolf need to talk with the skeleton?
He had a bone to pick with him.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What is a skeleton’s favorite instrument?
A trom-bone.
Have you heard about a man who became a werewolf?
He was distressed at first, but then he took a lycan to it.
Who are the cousins of the werewolf?
What-wolf and When-wolf
Why is Frankenstein’s monster so popular?
He’s a real people person.
Dr. Frankenstein: Igor, have you seen my latest invention? It’s a new pill consisting of 50 percent glue and 50 percent aspirin.
Igor: But what is it for?
Dr. Frankenstein: For monsters with splitting headaches.
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