Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man.
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
Many people think that the Abominable Snowman doesn't exist...
Yeti does.
Why are Ghosts in such good shape? Plenty of exorcise and a good die-t.
What do skeletons complain about?
Aching bones.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
What do you call a werewolf who cuts down trees?
A timber wolf.
Why did the ghoul bury the trophy?
Because he wanted it engraved!
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
What happened when the ice monster had a furious row with Frankenstein?
He gave him the cold shoulder!
What a is ghoul’s favorite pet?
Ghoulfish!
You can't ever get the attention of a vampire on Halloween. They're way too busy looking for their necks victim.
How did the ghost get from New York to London? British Scare-ways.
What did the tired witch do?
She sat down for a spell.
What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play?
A Midsummer Bite’s Dream.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
The vampire decided to eat a throat lozenge. It was the only thing he could think of to stop his coffin fit.
Frankenstein entered a body-building competition…
And soon found he had seriously misunderstood the objective.
Why did the ghoul become green?
It was sick of eating brains!
What do witches in Australia ride?
Broomerangs.
What is a favorite game for ghouls?
Chase!
What do you get when you cross a goblin, a stop sign, and immortality?
An everlasting gobstopper!
It's easier to prepare meals with this new cookware-wolf.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
Why do witches fly on broomsticks?
Because vacuum cleaner cords aren’t long enough.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
How do werewolves stop a video?
They press the paws button.
Why does it take so long to shave a giant sheep with normal-sized clippers?
Shear size.
What position does a ghoul play on the soccer team?
Ghoulie!
Did you hear that the list of famous vampires had a startling omission?
They forgot to Count Dracula!
Why was the werewolf arrested at the butchers shop?
He was caught chop lifting.
What crosswords do zombies like?
Crypt-ic ones.
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
I heard Medusa looked really pretty.
In fact, her looks were stunning.
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
How does a vampire keep fit?
Batminton.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
What advice do ghosts give their children? Only spook when spoken to.
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Where do Yetis go to dance?
To a snow ball.
Why did the skeleton go to the dance?
To see the boogie man.
What should you do when you see Frankenstein walking towards you?
Make a bolt for it.
What kind of writer did the ghost hire to write his biography? A ghostwriter, duh.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
What do you call a witch who drives badly?
A road hag.
What’s a zombie’s favorite toy?
A dead-y bear.
What do you call a werewolf that's found the cure for lycanthropy?
A lycan'tthrope.
What is a ghost’s favorite carnival ride? The rollerghoster.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
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