What online search engine do spooky monsters use?
Ghoulghoul.
What monster plays the most April Fool’s jokes?
Prankenstein!
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
The local vampire society is constantly growing. They are always looking for new blood.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What did the witch get her cat for entertainment?
A cat-alog.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
How do yetis stay regular?
They always know wendigo.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What do you call a zombie with lots of kids?
A mom-ster.
Why didn’t the skull go to the dentist?
It was too-th late.
Who is the most famous skeleton detective?
Sherlock Bones.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
What did the lost witch ask the wizard?
- Witch way to the Halloween party?
Yetis have declared their own independent state in the Himalayas.
It's an abomi-nation.
Never believe minotaurs...
Half of everything they say is bull.
What’s a skeleton’s second favorite instrument?
A sax-a-bone.
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
I found out yesterday that the Mexican dish ghosts like the most is a boo-ritto.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
How does Frankenstein eat his dinner?
He bolts it down.
"If you want to pass this point alive, you must answer my riddle: What goes on four legs in the morning, two legs at noon and on three legs in the evening?" the Sphinx asked.
Oedipus pondered for a moment, "Probably one of those new Pokemones," he finally replied. "There is like 600 of them.
"Fair enough man," spoke the Sphinx. "I can't reasonably expect you to remember all their names. You may pass."
Witch doctors write their prescriptions in curse-ive.
If you encounter a sea monster, you better get Kraken!
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
I feel like Medusa was in some rocky relationships.
Why did the zombie bite off the comedian's hands?
His jokes were too funny to handle.
Dr. Frankenstein just placed an order on Amazon.
It wasn't expensive, but I imagine the shipping cost him an arm and a leg.
What's the slogan for the New York Demon Chomping Advocacy Group?
Gobble the ghoul.
A vampire broke up with his girlfriend when she had a blood test. He told her she wasn't his type.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
What does a monster wear when it rains?
His ghoul-oshes!
How did the skeletons make s’mores when they went camping?
They made them on the bone-fire.
What does a polite vampire say to its victim?
- Fang you very much.
Are sasquatches superstitious?
Yes, they always knock on wood!
What kind of makeup do zombies wear?
Mas-scare-a.
I knew a vampire who was trying to become an actor. He gave it his best shot, but ended up retraining. He just couldn't find a role he could sink his teeth into.
What do you call a yeti with a sixpack?
The abdominable snowman.
How do you make a werewolf stew?
Keep him waiting until the full moon!
How do ghosts wash their hair? Sham-boo.
Why was the book of incantations useless?
Because the author failed to do a spell-check.
What do bats say to vampires?
“You suck!”
Why are witches good at farming?
Because they love occult-ivation.
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
Why didn't the ghost dance at the party? He had no body to dance with.
What does it take to become a zombie?
Dead-ication.
Why did Frankenstein’s monster go to a psychiatrist?
He thought he had a screw loose.
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