Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
How did the witch invite the wizard to take an evening ride on her broomstick?
Voodoo like to ride with me?
Where do vampire bats go to take out a loan?
To the blood bank.
What's the Kraken gonna give you that'll make you laugh uncontrollably?
Ten Tickles!
How do you kill a southern vampire?
You bless his heart.
What do you call a zombie door-to-door salesman?
A dead ringer!
Did you hear about the witch who got plastic surgery?
She looked really good afterworts.
How can you tell that vampires love baseball?
They turn into bats every night.
What problem do you encounter with twin witches?
You can never tell which is witch.
What color sheet did the ghost wear on the 4th of July? Red, white, and boo.
What do ghosts and monsters drink after scaring people?
Ghoul-Aid.
Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank?
Because he didn’t have the guts.
What does the skeleton chef say when he serves you a meal?
- Bone Appetit!
I used to be a werewolf but I’m ok noooooooooooow!!
My wife and my friends are sick of my puns about The Abominable Snowman.
Yeti keep cracking them.
When the ghost saw his wife he said 'you're not just cute, you're boo-tiful too!'
Why did the skeleton climb up the tree?
Because a dog was after his bones!
What does a vampire need for making breakfast in the morning?
Pancake batter.
Vampires can always Count on Dracula.
What do zombies say before a fight?
- Do you want a piece of me?
Where is the Ghost’s bedroom located? Down the Hall-oween.
What do zombie actors do before they perform?
They re-hearse.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
The zombie astrologer writes really scary predictions.
They're horror-scopes.
Why did the ghost go to the big Labor Day sale? He’s a bargain haunter.
What do you call it when Dr. Frankenstein makes tea?
A monstrositea.
What does goblin's blood consist of?
Hemogoblin.
I'd advise against letting a vampire drive you home after a Halloween party. They never check their mirrors, it will drive you batty.
How do you stop a werewolf attacking you?
Throw a stick and shout “Fetch.”
I know an old man who's a vampire. He's quite long in the tooth.
Why do vampires need cold medicine?
For their coffin.
Why did the werewolf laugh while chewing on the skeleton?
He got to the funny bone.
What do you call the story of a poor witch that just became a millionaire?
Rags to witches story.
What do you call a goblin brigand?
A robgoblin.
A pirate I know likes clothes made by an Italian fashion giant...
He dresses in Argh-mani suits.
What do you call a witch's spotless garage?
A broom closet.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
What did the ghoul say to the clown on Halloween?
Tag, you’re it!
Why do skeletons hate the cold?
It sends chills up their spine.
What do vampires use when baking cakes?
Batter.
What happened when Dr. Frankenstein swallowed some uranium?
He got atomic ache.
The ghost was told off when he spook out of turn.
Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?
Rigor Mortissen
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room in the house?
The living room.
All vampires seem to have the same thing for their last meal. A stake.
What kind of vehicle does Bigfoot drive?
A big toe-truck.
How did the archeologists know the skeletons were real?
They were bone-afide.
What do you call a zombie who stir-fries?
Dead Man Wokking
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
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