How did the monster predict his future?
With the horror-scope!
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What does one vampire say to another before bed?
- I hope you have a fang-tastic day!
What happened when the monster's football game was all tied up?
They went into ogre time.
What did daddy ghoul say to his youngest son?
Stop ghouling around!
Who did the ghost invite to his party? Any old friend he could dig up.
What does the Ghost say when he sneezes? - Ach-ooooooooooooooooooooo!
What kind of jokes do skeletons tell?
Humerus ones.
Where does Sasquatch store his stuff while he's out on a hike?
In a big footlocker.
What do you call a ghost of a man with a broken leg? A hobblin’ goblin.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
Why don’t vampires use the front door?
Because they use the bat flap instead.
What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow?
A numb-skull.
Which car is a Ghost’s favourite? It is between a Boogatti or a Rolls-Royce Phantom.
What do you call the last skeleton on earth?
The end-o skeleton.
I hear the Minotaur is really stubborn....
He's really bull-headed.
What did the zombie pour on her dinner?
Grave-y.
What you call the Ghost of a Chicken? Poultry-geist.
What is a wolf’s favorite time of the year?
The howl-o-days.
What's the difference between an internet troll and a video game character?
Video game characters have lives.
What did the witch say to people who visited her house?
Come sit for a spell!
An Indonesian Giant stubbed his foot on a volcano...
- Did he Krakatoa?
Why did the mommy and daddy werewolves call their son “Camera”?
Because he was always snapping at things!
Heard a rumor of a giant butterfly in London. Probably just an urban moth.
What do you call a little ghost with a torn sheet? A hole-y terror.
What is a zombie's favorite kind of weather?
Brainstorms.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite Beatles song?
The Ghoul on the Hill!
This zombie kept cutting the line so I gave her a piece of my mind.
She said it was yummy.
What's a ghost with a broken leg called? A hoblin goblin.
Where do you find giant snails?
At the end of a giant’s finger.
Did you hear about the vampire who only had one fang?
He just had to grin and bare it.
Which soccer position does a Ghost play? Ghoulkeeper, of course.
What do troll mathematicians like to solve?
Parabolems?
When the ghost family got in their car, the dad ghost told the kids to fasten their sheet-belts.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
I met a French vampire who had an attention deficit problem. We called him Drac..ooh la la!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
Why do zombies only date intelligent women?
They just love a woman with brains.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What’s a ghoul’s favorite love story?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
Why do trolls live under bridges?
To troll goats!
What money do zombies use?
Crypt-o-currency.
What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
Vein-illa!
Where do fashionable ghosts shop for sheets? Bootiques.
What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell?
A dead ringer.
Why are Minotaurs always broke?
Because their loan sharks are always milking them dry!
You hear about the werewolf who majored in philosophy?
Now he's a whywolf
Who brings the monsters their babies?
Frankenstork.
What do you call a Minotaur in a playground?
A swing and a myth.
What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks?
Half-calf.
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