Did you hear how the zombie bodybuilder hurt his back?
He was dead lifting.
What do you say when you see a stunned ghostbuster catch a ghoul?
He's a little confused but he's got the spirit.
Why did the zombie go to the doctor?
Because of his coffin.
Vampires love corny jokes and puns. I don't think they're funny, but it's probably to do with them being pun-dead.
What cheese do vampires eat?
Munster.
What do you call a rich goblin?
GOBLING.
Has the abominable snowman called?
Not Yeti.
Don't get too close to a vampire, they have a serious case of bat breath.
What’s a Spanish vampire’s favorite dance?
The Fang-dango.
If I made werewolf puns, they would be howl-arious.
What trees do ghouls like best?
Ceme-trees!
What’s Frankenstein’s favorite food?
Frankenfurters.
What was the skeleton doing at the hockey game?
Driving the zam-boney.
What did one werewolf say when he saw his friend?
- Howl’s it going?
What time does the Wicked Witch have her clocks set to?
Greenwitch Mean Time.
Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? No haunting license.
What is an ogre's favorite snack?
Y-ogre-t.
What kind of chocolate do ghouls like?
Hearse-sheys!
What does a skeleton use to cut through objects?
A shoulder blade.
How did the skeleton know it was going to rain?
He could feel it in his bones.
What did the broken hearted skeleton say?
After all to-marrow is another day.
What do witches put on their bagels?
Scream cheese.
What does a werewolf say in church?
Howleluia!
How do French skeletons say hello?
- Bone-jour!
I don’t care if all of the other giants see me as a big joke for filing a restraining order on a guy I’ve got 75 feet on.
Beanstalked is a serious matter.
What’s a skeleton’s favorite plant?
A bone-zai.
How do ghouls like their meals?
Absolutely terrified!
Did you see that movie about King Kong, the giant ape?
The plot was pretty bananas.
What goes ‘Cackle, cackle, cackle, bonk’?
A witch laughing her head off.
Where does a ghost go on vacation? Mali-boo.
What does a skeleton order at a restaurant?
Spare ribs.
How are zombies like computers?
They use mega-bites!
What kind of pet fish did the skeleton have?
A bonefish.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
Why did the witch fall off her broom mid-flight?
She had a fainting spell!
What do you call a one-inch zombie?
Tomb thumb!
Did you hear about the goblin that got his left arm and left leg cut off?
Well don't worry, he's all right now.
What’s it like to be kissed by a vampire?
It’s a pain in the neck.
How did the witch feel about using her broom to do housework?
She bristled at the suggestion!
What do you call a criminal vampire?
A fangster.
What is Frankenstein’s favorite cheese?
Muenster.
There are two skeleton teachers at school. One is humerus, but the other is very sternum.
What did the zombie get when she was late to dinner?
The cold shoulder.
Why did the poor werewolf chase his own tail?
He was trying to make ends meet.
Why didn’t Dr. Frankenstein ever make a second monster?
Because he just didn’t have the guts to do it again.
What did Dr. Frankenstein say when Pinocchio’s nose grew?
IT’S A LIEEEEE!!
The zombie had had a really long day at work.
She was dead tired.
The zombie worked for years to win this prize. He showed real dead-ication.
I don't know what Dracula's address is, but I'm pretty sure he lives on a dead end street.
How do werewolves eat lunch?
They wolf it down.
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