Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
What do you call a number that can’t keep still?
A roamin’ numeral.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Go to BabaMail
