What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.