hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
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