Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Did you hear about the statistician who drowned crossing the river?
It was three feet deep on average.
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