What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why are obtuse angles so depressed?
Because they’re never right.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
How many mathematicians does it take to change a light bulb?
One—she just gives it to three physicists, thus reducing it to a problem that’s already been solved.
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
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