Never trust math teachers who use graph paper.
They're *always* plotting something.
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
Why should you never mention the number 288?
Because it’s two gross.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Why does nobody talk to circles?
Because there is no point!
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
What should you put on the tomb stone of a mathematician?
"He didn't count on this."
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why is it sad that parallel lines have so much in common?
Because they’ll never meet.
Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
What kind of snake does your math teacher probably own?
A pi-thon.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?
They already 8!
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