Dear Algebra, Please stop asking us to find your X.
She’s never coming back—don’t ask Y.
hy don’t calculus major throw house parties?
Because they know firsthand that it’s a bad idea to drive and derive.
Why did the obtuse angle go to the beach?
Because it was over 90 degrees.
Are monsters good at math?
Not unless you Count Dracula.
What did the student say when the witch doctor removed his curse?
Hexagon.
What’s the best way to serve pi?
A la mode. Anything else is mean.
Why do plants hate math?
Because it gives them square roots.
What did the math teach rate the movie American Pie?
3.14
Who invented fractions?
Henry the 1/4th.
Who invented the Round Table?
Sir Cumference.
How do you make seven an even number?
Just remove the “s.”
Did you hear the one about the statistician.
Probably.
What’s the best way to woo a math teacher?
Use acute angle.
How do you do math in your head?
Just use imaginary numbers.
Why did the hipster throw away his calculus book?
He found it too derivative.
Why do they never serve beer at a math party?
Because you can’t drink and derive…
Why was the math lecture so long?
The professor kept going off on a tangent.
Why did the chicken cross the Mobius Strip?
To get to the same side.
Where do mathematicians like to party?
In bar graphs.
Why do teenagers travel in groups of 3 or 5?
Because they can’t even.
What did the numerator say to the denominator when they broke up?
I'm so over you!
Why didn’t sin and tan go to the party?
Just cos.
Why couldn’t the angle get a loan?
His parents wouldn’t Cosine.
Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?
He will stop at nothing to avoid them.
Why didn’t Bob drink a glass of water with 8 pieces of ice in it?
It was too cubed.
Why should you never argue with decimals?
Decimals always have a point.
Where do you bury dead people? Asymmetry
Why DID seven eat nine?
Because you’re supposed to eat 3 squared meals a day!
What happens when you hire an odd-job guy to do 8 jobs?
They only do 1, 3, 5 and 7.
My girlfriend is the square root of -100.
She’s a perfect 10, but purely imaginary.
Why shouldn’t you let advanced math intimidate you?
It’s really as easy as pi!
How do you stay warm in any room?
Just huddle in the corner, where it’s always 90 degrees.
An opinion without 3.14159 is just an onion.
Why should you worry about the math teacher holding graph paper?
She’s definitely plotting something.
How do you get from point A to point B?
Just take an x-y plane or a rhom’bus.
Why did the student get upset when his teacher called him average?
It was a ‘mean’ thing to say!
Did you hear about the mathematician whose afraid of negative numbers?
He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.
How come old math teachers never die?
They tend to just lose some of their functions.
You know what’s odd?
Every other number.
Why does algebra make you a better dancer?
Because you can use algo-rhythm.
A farmer counted 297 cows in the field.
But when he rounded them up, he had 300.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender stops them, pours two beers and says, “You guys should know your limits.”
What do you call an angle that is adorable?
Acute angle.
Why is six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine!
Why do math teachers love parks so much?
Because of all the natural logs.
Why are math books so darn depressing?
They’re literally filled with problems.
What do you call dudes who love math?
Algebros.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had so many problems.
To the person who invented zero...
Thanks for nothing.
Why didn’t the Romans find algebra very challenging?
Because they always knew X was 10.
What’s the best place to do math homework?
On a multiplication table.
Go to BabaMail
