Marriage InsultsJoke Generator

Every wise couple will relate to these funny insults!

My spouse’s cooking is so bad we usually pray after our food.
Marriage is like a phone call in the middle of the night; first the ring, THEN you wake up.
I've had many cases of love that were just infatuation, but this hate I feel for you is the real thing.
My marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it's not that hot.
My wife's like a tornado; moans like hell when she comes and you takes the house when she leaves.
My spouse calls me crazy, but who’s the one who married me? Who’s the crazy one now?
Save your breath, you'll need it to blow up date night!
I wish our marriage certificate came with an expiry date.
My phone battery lasts longer than your promises!
I'll never forget the first time we met -- although, I'll keep trying.
You want my ass? You had my ass. You let my ass walk away. The only ass left is your dumbass!
I am happily married - my wife, on the other hand, not so much.
When we broke up, my ex told me: "You'll never find someone like me!" and I said, "that's the point!"
I'm only keeping your number in my phone so I know not to answer when you call.
My wife gives me sound advice: 99% sound and 1% advice.
They say opposites attract. I hope you meet someone who is good-looking, intelligent, and cultured.
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