She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
You’ve stolen my heart. I hereby place you under cardiac arrest.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
Grandpa: “Don’t scare me, I’m a heart patient.”
“If you scare me, I’ll never talk to you again.”
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
How did the cardiologist figure out what she wanted to do with her life?
She just followed her heart.
I lub dub you with all my heart.
I love my wife with all my butt! I should have to say heart, but my heart is actually smaller than my butt.
You’re so beautiful, I can heartly believe my eyes.
What do you call someone who loves dark beer?
Stouthearted.
I heard about a football player who had a heart attack and collapsed on top of his opponent.
He was dead on a rival.
I wish that I could be the coronary artery of my wife so that I would be wrapped around her heart.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.