What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
Are you a locksmith? Because you hold the key to my heart.
Which alphabet gang strikes fear in the hearts of the other letters?
I Q U.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
You’re my heartthrob.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
When it came to tilling his garden by hand, he put a lot of heart into it.
He was gung hoe.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
What do you call an Irish dancer having a heart attack?
Michael flatline.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
I find that the quickest way to man's heart
is with a very very sharp knife.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
What vegetable lives in your heart?
Beets.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
You should follow your heart, but keep in mind to take your brain too.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
What do you call it when you try to woo someone with 50% of a Valentine?
A halfhearted attempt.
Why didn’t the skeleton scare the trick-or-treaters on Halloween?
He didn’t have the heart.
You must be a defibrillator because you are sending shocks directly to my heart.
A golfer had a heart attack and died on the way to the hospital. He was on a fairway to heaven.
My dad has the heart of a lion...
and a lifetime ban from the zoo.
A man who makes tie dye shirts was trying to borrow money to expand his small business. While filling out the paperwork, he had a heart attack and collapsed, spilling bottles of colored dye all over his documents.
The poor man dyed a loan.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
What do you call it when a cardiology student flunks out?
Heart failure.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Go to BabaMail
