Nurse: Here’s our list of donor hearts and livers in alphabetical order.
Doctor: wow. Looks very ORGANized.
When my girlfriend told me she needed time and distance, my heart almost stopped,
Fortunately, she was just calculating velocity.
What kind of car did the heart surgeon drive to work?
A beater.
What happened to the patient who refused to get a much-needed transplant?
He had a change of heart.
You know, the heart’s the hungriest organ.
It has the heartiest appetite.
I aorta tell my wife how much I love her.
I had a birth defect where they had to relocate my heart
I guess you could say my heart wasn't in the right place.
"I have a joke about hearts, but I don't think you will get it."
"Why?"
"Because it is an inside joke."
When we put our two hearts together, we can’t be beat.
Why did the little girl color her paper heart pink rather than red?
She was feeling lighthearted.
What's the quickest way to a man's heart?
His chest.
You wanna know the way to my heart?
A scalpel and a bone saw.
Why did the pianist have to be rushed into surgery after his latest performance?
He played his heart out.
What’s the best tool to have when your heart sinks?
A Jack of Hearts.
Did you hear about the bear with the bad heart?
It went into kodiak arrest.
Honey! I know this can be a bit cheesy, but you will always have a big pizza my heart.
One or two hours warm my heart,
But 24 hours make my day.
What does a pirate with heart failures need?
Anti-arrrrrrrrrrhythmics.
Someone asked me to sing a line from "Don't go breaking my heart"
I couldn't if I tried.
I gave my heart to a girl from Great Britain.
She turns around and Brexit into a million pieces.
What do we call two birds that are in love?
Tweet-hearts!
A surgeon was about to perform heart surgery when he received notice that the replacement was delivered to his house!
Home is where the heart is.
The Mad Hatter and the Queen of Hearts had a rental agreement
A lease in Wonderland.
My first girlfriend was a tennis player but she broke my heart.
It was like love meant nothing to her.
You’re my sweetheart, and I’m so pumped about that.
“I told you Doc!! I’ve got fatigue and my heart keeps skipping a beat! Why do you keep calling me a liar??
Doctor: “Sir, I’ll say it again, that’s A Fib!”
She was wheeled to the operating room, but then she underwent a change of heart.
What did the dinosaur say to his lover?
You make my heart saur!
My local pizza place is selling heart shaped pizzas for Valentine’s Day
I find it to be a bit cheesy.
My mom always says that the stomach is the best way to a man’s heart. That’s why she is a bad surgeon.
That girl must be a premature contraction as she makes my heart skip a beat.
Why did the pig have a heart attack?
Too much bacon.
This year, my brain and my heart are Valentines to each other.
I heard a heart wrenching story recently.
A car mechanic became a cardiac surgeon.
My mate Gavin passed away from heartburn last week.
Still can’t believe Gaviscon
Her ex-husband had a heart attack after winning the lottery
But he'd neglected to update his will. She just couldn't bereave her luck!
What did the heart say to the brain before an exam?
You look nervous.
I used to get heartburn when I ate birthday cake until a doctor advised me to take the candles off first.
Two blood cells can meet and fall in love with each other, but it is all in vein.
My cardiologist friend keeps sending me x-rays of his chest.
A bit weird, I know, but it just shows his heart is in the right place.
Bonnie Tyler has released a video all about cardiology.
It’s totally clips of the heart.
The nurse made my heart skip a beat
It was fine after she plugged the life support back in.
Someone just asked me to sing any line from "Don't go breaking my heart."
I couldn't if I tried.
I just found out that my son got a tattoo of spades, diamonds, hearts, and clubs on his arm.
I might have to deal with him later.
I can heartly wait to see you again.
Did you hear about the cardiologist who went to great lengths to win the heart of a hematologist?
It was all in vein.
Why didn’t the skeleton feel like patching up his broken ribcage?
His heart wasn’t in it.
Doctor said I’m at risk of having a heart attack due to high sodium intake.
I took what he said with a grain of salt.
Scientist are shocked after discovery of a new african bee species that can keep on flying even after their heart stops.
Local tribes in fear of a zombee apocalypse
A friend failed his medical exam when he X-rayed his lower torso.
He didn’t put his heart into it.
Go to BabaMail
