There was a terrible fire at the shoe factory today...
Over a million soles were lost.
There was a fire at the yodeling school. Everyone was asked to exit in an orderly orderly orderly manner.
Me: "Hello? 911? Emergency! The neighbors house is on fire!"
Dispatcher: "Did you discover the fire?"
Me: "No! Prometheus! but what does he have to do with this?"
When Smokey died in a forest fire, how did his body get to the cemetery ?
Pallbears.
What did the water in the fire truck say when it came to a sudden stop?
I'm baffled.
The other day I put out a big dangerous open fire!
The other people on the hot air balloon didn't appreciate me for some reason.
If H20 is in the inside of a fire hydrant, what's on the outside ?
K9P.
Did you hear about the fire at the circus?
It was InTents.
Why was the food critic fired?
They didn't reference their sauces
I need to apologize to my fellow Californians for all the recent forest fires.
Apparently I'm the only one that could've prevented them
I saw a cow on fire ther dayand so I put it out.
Guess you could call it a rare experience.
My son and I went camping yesterday and when he asked me how to start a campfire, I explained, "You can start a fire by rubbing two sticks together, but make sure they’re the same..."
"Then you’ll have a match."
My Ex-wife called me to tell me my son was arrested for setting a house on fire. I corrected her saying...
Arson.
My boss told me that he was going to fire the person with the worst posture
I have a hunch, it might be me.
Did you hear the was a fire at a used furniture store and two people died next door?
It was due the second hand smoke
I went to the shooting range for the first time, but I couldn’t get my gun to fire
I had to read the trouble shooting section in the manual
Why did the vegan get fired ?
His job performance did not meat expectations.
What do you call a ghoul who sits too close to the fire?
A toasty ghosty.
I dropped my steak into the fire.
Well done, me, well done.
I got fired from the unemployment office on Friday.
My boss said, “Clean out your desk, and I’ll see you in the office on Monday.”
My boss fired me.
"Why?" I asked.
He said, "You always question authority."
"How?"
I got fired from my job because I kept asking my customers whether they would prefer “Smoking” or “Non-smoking”.
Apparently the correct terms are “Cremation” and “Burial”.
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