What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
What do you call someone that's always stealing your heat?
A brrrglar!
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
What does a four-wheeled vehicle and a television have in common?
They’re both ATV
What did the man say after he came out of the walk-in freezer?
"That experience was chilling."
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
Just opened my water bill and my electricity bill at the same time… I was shocked.”
An electrician needed to change 8 fluorescent lamps to brighten up a large conference room at our office. I asked him if he needed a hand carrying them.
He said no, this is light.
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
A friend of mine once found a hundred dollar bill in his pocket after doing laundry...
I became too afraid he might have gotten himself into the money laundering business.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Just burned 2,000 calories.
That’s the last time I leave brownies in the oven while I nap.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What is a wise, old priest's favorite kitchen appliance?
The deep friar.
What football team do energy providers root for the most? The Chargers”
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
Why did the monk meditate with a light bulb?
He hoped it would help him to reach enlightenment.
What do you call a regular potato broadcasting sports?
A common tater.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What is the energy provider’s favorite dance? The electric slide.”
What kind of plant generates the most energy? A power plant.”
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
What is an outlet’s favorite song?
I’ve Got The Power.
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
I took my friends watch that had an LED flashlight on it.
Now it's my time to shine.
I destroyed all the air conditioners at work and escaped.
Police are now charging me with a 'heat and run' incident.
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
My wife asked me why I was ironing my 4 leaf clover.
I told her I was pressing my luck
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
What veggie should you avoid buying if your fridge is tiny?
Fungi. They take up too mushroom.
My friend bought a new house, and invited everyone to a party.
My dad asks, "How was the house warming?" And I said, "With the furnace, I suppose."
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
How many birds does it take to change a light bulb?
Normally three, but Toucan.
Go to BabaMail
