What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
My blender is a bit forgetfull. It keep breaking the ice with me.
I'm thinking about writing a book about lamps. I think its a bright idea
Where do light bulbs go shopping? The outlet stores.”
I got tricked into buying a cooling fan that didn't work...
It was an air con.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
Air conditioner technicians...
love to vent about their job in order to cool off.
Did you hear about the abusive flashlight? It was charged with battery.
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
Why do Russian teapots have to go to bed early?
Because samovars have to work tomorrow.
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
Where do electricians get their supplies? The Ohm Depot.
How many software engineers do you need to change a light bulb?
None – it’s a hardware problem.
I just burned my Hawaiian pizza in the oven
I guess I should have put it on aloha setting
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
What temperature do you set a toy oven?
Faux hundred degrees.
Hey did you hear that ESPN is broadcasting this year's Origami competition?
I heard it's pay per view...
The superconductor left without resistance.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
Why did the freezer run away on its marriage?
It got cold feet
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
It was a soft white.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
People find laundry therapeutic...
Because it takes a load off their mind.
I think my window air conditioner needs an ambulance.
It keeps hyperventilating.
What football team do energy providers root for the most?
The Chargers.
I bought you a refrigirator.
I can't wait to see your face light up as you open it.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
A sweater I bought was picking up static electricity. So, I returned it to the store. They gave me another one free of charge.”
Accidentally spilled frosting all over the freezer.
Going to leave it be though, since the freezer has an auto defrost feature.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
Why is wind power popular? Because it has a lot of fans!”
I hate when my heater says something that sounds meaningful...
But it turns out to just be blowing hot air.
I didn't know if I could crawl through heating vents to escape from prison...
After I duct, I found I conduit!
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
Electric razors are the best thing since sliced beard.
How many students does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They use CFLs!
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy?
A power play.
You’re a unit of electrical energy, Harry.” I’m a watt?”
Who's the most popular kitchen appliance?
The freezer, he's really cool
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
Even the most intelligent people can’t survive a day without electricity, like Stephen Hawking.
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