Did you hear about the guy who fell into the industrial cake mixer?
He's feeling much batter now.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
What do you call a slice of bread you put in the toaster?
A tanning bread.
What is a plug’s favorite chant at a sporting event?
CHARGE!!
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
Why did the electricity documentary get such mixed reviews?
People weren’t sure how to feel after it’s shocking ending.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
My Microwave is a Liar. On the front it says "30-60 Seconds for a Hot Dog."
I keep running that thing for minutes on end but I never get a Hot Dog to come out.
My friend asked me why I was wearing a lamp shade over my face.
I replied, "I am feeling light headed."
What is an energy provider’s favorite dance?
The electric slide.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Phil told me about what lights up a light bulb.
But I didn’t know what Phil-a-meant.
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
Oh laundry, sometimes I feel like our first president...
Because I am washing-a-ton.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Why did the man eat the light bulb? He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.”
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
I really have to force myself to get through this book on friction.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!
What instrument never fails to energize a crowd?
An electric guitar.
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Why did the man eat the light bulb?
He was hoping it would give him a bright idea.
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
I love lamps.
They're so enlightening.
One blender turns to the one next to it and says "You're looking exceptionally good today!"
So the other replies, "You're such a smoothie talker"
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
How did the charger get rich?
He made a killing in the shock market.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Don't ever change a light bulb while the oven is on
You'll get burned out
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
What happens when you put your hand in a blender?
You get a hand shake.
What kind of car does an electrician drive? A Volts-wagon.”
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
I was opening up all the vents in our house. My wife didn't understand why.
"You may think that's eVENTfull. You'll undestand why I do this eVENTually"
How do you dry clothes on a line in winter?
You freeze dry them.
What was the light bulb’s occupation?
He was a conductor
The government is planning to ban articles about ironing appliances in the newspaper.
The freedom of press is no more.
It's almost impossible to tell someone if a vacuum works or not.
Either it sucks or it sucks.
What do you call laundry detergent on the top shelf?
High tide.
What did the light bulb say to the generator? ‘I really get a charge out of you!”
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
What did the dough say after half an hour in the oven?
I’m bready.
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