My heater won't stop running.
I swear it has no chill.
A good air conditioner is worth its weight in cold.
It’s crazy that Dubai doesn’t show The Flintstones on TV...
But Abu Dhabi Do!
I tried to taste the hot light bulb
But I got my tungstenned.
The guy who got arrested for eating batteries…. He is to be charged in the morning.
My friend pointed at a chandelier and said: "isn't that the coolest chandelier ever?"
I replied: "I don't know if it's the coolest, but it's up there."
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
Why did the light bulb fail his math quiz? He wasn’t too bright.”
I wonder who invented the air conditioner...
Must’ve been a pretty cool guy.
My fridge stopped working...
Its not cool.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
I just put some meat in the oven.
It’s bacon.
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
Why was the teapot sitting in the corner?
It was having a pour attitude.
What did one chandelier say to the other?
I have friends in the high places.
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
What do you call a gorilla stuck in a ventilation shaft?
A Duct-ape.
What do you call a fake pastry?
A prop tart!
Had to replace all the bulbs in the side table lamps. Then I had to replace the ones in my ceiling fan.
That was the highlight of my day.
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
I was pretty mad when the air conditioner stopped working...
I lost my cool.
I put some bread in the toaster this morning, but it never popped up again
I think it might be comatoast.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
I like to sleep with the bedside lamp on, even though my wife says it's weird.
I don't see how, I think it makes a great hat.
What's the first tea that comes in a teapot?
empytea
What did the lamp eat?
A light snack...
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
I stopped ironing my clothes.
I have less pressing concerns.
The repair man said he thought he'd fixed the propane stoves, but he couldn't be quite sure.
After all, it involved a lot of gaswork.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
I hate being married to a microwave
Every time I give her my two cents she blows up
I can't find my humidifier anymore...
I have reported it misting.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
A dangerous surge of electricity walks into a bar. The barman says, why the long phase?”
Why can’t dishwashers do parallel dancing?
They’re never in sink.
At what point will you love to change your bulbs the most?
When sparks fly.
The secretary left me a message saying humidity will hit 90% today...
She wrote it on a sticky note.
My wife left a note on the fridge, saying, "This isn't working. Goodbye."
I opened it and it works fine.
Everyone knows The Beatles, but do you know The Laundry Beatles?
It's members are Paul McCottoney, John Linen, Ringo Starch ... And George Harrison.
A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications.
Yesterday I put a $50 note in my freezer.
Now I have some frozen assets.
What did the lamp say to the flickering candle?
"Do you want to go out sometime soon?"
Why was the broken refrigerator angry?
Because he couldn’t keep his cool.
Went to buy a new microwave. Salesperson asks me "what volume are you looking for?"
And I say "nothign too loud"
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
What do you get if you put kisses in a blender?
A Smoochie.
Why did the electrician marry his colleague? He couldn’t resistor.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
I can't decide whether to grill chicken breasts or chicken thighs...
I guess I'll just wing it
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