A burglar stole all my lamps.
I should be upset, but I’m delighted
My roommate keeps taking my water bottle out of the refrigerator.
It's not cool man.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
I put a humidifier and dehumidifier in the same room. What do you think will happen? That's a mist-ery.
I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I’ve been carrying. I’m ex-static!”
What penalty in hockey uses the most amount of energy? A power play.”
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
My friend called and said he was sick of his fireplace exhaust vent...
Sounds like another case of the flue.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
Something is odd about my hot stove.
I just can't quite put my finger on it.
Today I found out my toaster isn't waterproof
I was shocked.
Why is the air conditioner repairman the life of the party?
It’s not cool until he arrives.
Where do light bulbs go shopping?
The outlet stores.
I bought a secured warehouse where I keep appliances to clean pots, pans, plates, and silverware.
It's dishwasher safe!
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity?
It’s natural.
What powers an electric kettle?
Electrici-tea.
How do you turn a duck into a soul singer?
Stick him in an oven until his Bill Withers
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
My friend had put some beans in the coffee grinder
After a few seconds I told him to stop. That's fine.
Why do fluorescent lights hum? Because they can’t remember the words.”
Television is a medium,
Because anything well done is rare.
A wind turbine saw a solar panel at an energy convention. He leaned in and shouted, Hey, I’m a big fan!”
What do mushrooms watch on TV?
Spores.
What do you call it when a clothes dryer is dancing?
A linty-hop.
I noticed a wasp in my laundry as I was dropping it in the washer. I decided the best action was to close the lid and start the machine anyway.
Now it's a washp.
I hid the control for the TV
I’m not even remotely sorry.
What is a light bulb’s favorite kind of news?
Current events.
Even the heaviest chandelier is pretty light.
What did the light bulb say to the electric generator? ‘You spark up my life!”
What TV shows are squeaky clean?
Soap Operas
The superconductor left without resistance.
Our landlord knocked on our door today and said that if we didn't pay rent, they'd turn off the heater tomorrow.
It was our last warming.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
I tried to help my wife with laundry by putting her underwear away.
But she got her panties in a bunch over it.
I once knew a priest that only ate microwave soup.
He was a Ramen Catholic.
Last night me and the wife watched three DVDs back to back.
Luckily I was the one facing the TV
What do you get when you put a saxophonist in a freezer?
Cool jazz.
Apparently adding a fireplace to your home is the hot new trend...
...and chimney installations are through the roof!
I started ironing my clothes...
To de-crease how bad I looked
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions?
I haven’t seen you in light years.
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.
It was a reduction.
I gave my wife a lamp for our anniversary.
Someone’s getting LED tonight.
The tea pot sounds so angry!
Nah, its just letting off some steam.
My brother just admitted that he broke my favourite lamp.
I'm not sure I'll be able look at him in the same light ever again
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
What is the most desirable kitchen appliance?
A hot plate.
How do you keep food warm in the refrigerator?
Keep it in the corner, because it is 90 degrees.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
My mixer broke down today. I'm very sad to part with it, I couldn't have whisked for a better friend.
Go to BabaMail
