How did the small oven greet the large oven?
He Microwaved.
Refrigerators look kinda boring.
But actually they're pretty cool
On our way to buy a refrigerator, I saw my husband carrying a piece of paper with a giant X written on it. I asked, “What are you going to do with it?”
He said, “Let’s cross that fridge when we get there.”
I stole some kitchen appliances from my mate...
It was dangerous but worth the whisk.
My wife told me to stop eating Christmas leftovers out the fridge...
But I just can’t quit cold turkey
What do power strips always say at their high school reunions? I haven’t seen you in light-years.”
My friend dragged me to a lecture about lamps. I though it would be boring but...
It was very illuminating.
Why are environmentalists attracted to electricity? It’s natural.”
Who takes care of saunas?
Humid Resources.
My landlord said we need to talk about how high my heating bill is.
I replied: “Sure, my door is always open.”
How many consultants do you need to change a light bulb?
You’ll get an estimate a week from Monday.
A hand mixer started a speakeasy.
It was a wisk-y business.
After buying grocers, I sat on the San Francisco pier and pondered life. My laundry detergent tipped over...
Now I’m sittin on the dock of a bay, watching my Tide roll away.
What did the toaster say to the criminal bread?
"I'm taking you into crustody"
What is an electrician’s favorite flavor of ice cream? Shock-a-lot.”
Why are the electricians always up to date? Because they are ‘current specialists.
Asked my boy to put the kettle on.
He said, "I don't think it'll fit me"
Two TV antennas meet on a roof, fall in love and get married...
The ceremony was boring but the reception was brilliant.
What did Master Yoda say when he saw himself on the television?
HDMI
I sold my cleaning equipment.
It was just collecting dust.
Whoever named it a television ...
Should've called it a watching machine.
Asked my boy to boil the kettle.
He said, "wouldn't it be better to boil some water?"
My dad argued with a stove
The conversation really started to heat up
Me: Dad, can I turn the air-conditioner on?
Dad: did you shampoo it first?
What did the blender say to his crush?
"I have mixed feelings about you, but we might blend together perfectly."
I started making lamps in the shape of the alphabet.
After the first three, it was a D-light.
When you clean out a vacuum cleaner, does that make YOU a vacuum cleaner?
What is the difference between lightning and electricity. For electricity, you need to pay, but
lightning kills for free.”
What's the opposite of a microwave?
A Tsunami.
I asked my son to stop leaving the freezer door open.
I told him, “This is why we can’t have ice things.”
I heard my son complaining about doing laundry.
He said, 'These just socks'.
Last night I turned my wife on by ironing one side of her shirt...
I was pressing all the right buttons.
What's a freezer's favorite time period?
The ice age!
The superconductor left without resistance.
My electrician friend accidentally blew the power to the ice-making factory. Now they’ve gone into liquidation.
I couldn't resist this flirty TV remote...
It was an instant turn on.
What did the lamps do after their date?
They got turned on.
Why do quitters do all the laundry?
They always throw in the towel!
What do you call a kangaroo who watches too much TV?
A pouch potato.
What do you call an Incarcerated late night TV show host?
Jimmy Felon.
We ran out of laundry detergent today and had to open up a new one.
It was a changing of the Tide.
What does a confident kettle have
Self-e-steam
I brought a new vacuum cleaner.
It sucks.
In the darkness, is where a flashlight really shines!
The sun is just a big space heater.
Found out I washed some of my son's nerf darts in his laundry...
Should make for some good clean shots.
What do you call an ironing board that makes your clothes more wrinkly?
An irony board.
Why are teapots so expensive?
Because they make you pour!
Did you hear about the baker that accidentally backed into an open oven...?
His buns were toasted.
When I don't have time to iron a shirt, I just steel one.
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