An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?"
"Sure. That's easy," said one man.
"What is it?"
"H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O."
"What, what?" reasked the instructor.
"H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
Which tooth did Avogadro have pulled?
One of his mole-ars
Why don't they galvanize ships?
Because that would make them zinc.
Oxygen went on a date with potassium last night.
It went OK.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What did the scientist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?
"HeHe."
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
You know what's cool about chemistry?
Endothermic reactions.
What kind of test do chemistry students like best?
Mole-tiple choice
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
How did the blond define hydrophobic on her chemistry exam? Fear of utility bills.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
Wanna hear a pun about gold? AU!
An electrolyte and a solvent are talking in jail.
Solvent: What are you in for?
Electrolyte: A salt charge.
What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
A ferrous wheel.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What do doctors do to injured elements? They helium.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
I'm fascinated by water's gas form.
It mist-ifies me.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What do you call an acid with attitude?
A meano-acid.
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
When hydrogen got arrested they told him he had one phone call.
He replied: "Call who? I don't have a family!"
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
The name's Bond. Ionic Bond. Taken, not shared.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
What kind of fruit did Avogadro eat in the summer?
Water-mole-ns
Why couldn't the alpha helix say the alphabet?
Because it broke up every time it got to L-amino P.
What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
One molar solution.
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
What are mammoles?
Four-legged ani-moles
If Iron Man and the Silver Surfer teamed up together, would they be alloys?
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
How do you make a hormone? You don't pay her.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Why did the acid go to the gym?
It wanted to become a buffer solution.
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Ah! The element of surprise.
What did one mole say to the other?
We have great chemistry together.
Helium walks into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve noble gases here."
Helium doesn't react.
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
Go to BabaMail
