I keep making bad chemistry jokes because all the good ones Argon.
What did the generous mole say when people crashed his party?
The mole the merrier
I like looking at a chart of all the chemical elements... periodically.
It's getting hard to zinc of new science puns because so many of them argon.
Why did the hipster chemist get burnt?
Because he touched the beaker before it was cool.
A small piece of sodium that lived in a test tube fell in love with a Bunsen burner.
"Oh Bunsen, my flame," the sodium pined. "I melt whenever I see you,"
The Bunsen burner replied, "It's just a phase you're going through."
What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together?
CSI.
Why did the military use acid?
To neutralize the enemy base.
What did one tectonic plate say to the other when they bumped into each other?
Sorry, that was my fault.
Books on helium are so hard to put down.
A chemistry lab is like a big party.
Some drop the acid while others drop the base.
What do you get when you have a bunch of moles acting like idiots?
A bunch of mole-asses
What do you do with a sick chemist? You try to helium, and then you try to curium, but if all else fails, you gotta barium.
What illness kept Avogadro in bed for two months?
Mole-onucleosis
Ah! The element of surprise.
Funny chemistry puns always get a good reaction.
How would you describe a stinky chemist?
Mole-odorous
Silver walks up to Gold in a bar and says, "AU, get outta here!"
Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They're cheaper than day rates.
Organic chemistry is really hard.
Those who study it have alkynes of trouble.
What does Avogadro put in his hot chocolate?
Marsh-mole-ows
Why is it bad to tell mole jokes?
It's mole-itically incorrect.
How rich is Avogadro?
He's a multi-mole-ionaire.
The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The chemist see the glass completely full, half in the liquid state and half in the vapor state.
I can eat sugar with either hand, I'm ambidextrose.
Who brings colorful eggs to chemist's kids every spring?
The Ether Bunny.
If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice? H2O cubed.
What kind of bears dissolve in water?
Polar bears.
What did Avogadro teach his students in math class?
Mole-tiplication
Why does Avogadro like Cindy Crawford?
She's his favorite super-mole-dle (and she has a mole).
Did you check the news? There was a Radon the chemical store.
Why was there only one Avogadro?
When they made him, they broke the moled.
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